You Saw Me
by Anwa
Summary: You saw me when I was myself, someone I never was too fond of. You saw me when I was weak, which is something rarely seen. But more importantly, you fell in love with me even at my lowest, and swept me off my feet. MC
1. One

**_ You Saw Me....._**

**__**  
_ "At my most beautiful  
  
I count your eyelashes, secretly.  
  
With every one, whisper I love you.  
  
I let you sleep.  
  
I know you're closed eye watching me,  
  
listening.  
  
I thought I saw a smile."  
  
"At My Most Beautiful" –REM_

For something so simple, it was the most peaceful thing in the world to him. Watching her sleep besides him, her breathing slow and steady, her body warm and soft, her lips party open exhaling ever so slightly. He would hold her hand while she slept, the hand connected to the arm that she draped over him so lovingly. Her head rested on his chest, her body curled up besides him.  
  
And that's how he fell asleep each night, to the sound of her breathing, and she to the sound of his heart beating. There were so many nights he wished he didn't have to leave so abruptly, so that nobody would know, but he knew it was for the best. But once he left, it was hard going back to a cold bed. He would always wish for her warmth besides him, the sounds of her breathing, but mainly because he didn't want to leave her.  
  
But he knew better then to stay. And with a reluctant heart, he finally let his eyes close for the night, knowing better then to try and stay up the rest of the night. At least this way he would be able to get a good rest, having her besides him, before he would leave to his bed and spend the rest of the morning tossing and turning.  
  
That was how things would have to be. But he was willing to hide in the shadows, if it meant he could be with her. He loved her, and for once, he wasn't afraid to admit it.  
  
She stirred, starting to wake up for the day. She rubbed her head against his chest, voicing her annoyance in having to wake up so early with a groan. Chandler's eyes fluttered open, he too starting to wake up.  
  
"Morning, sweetie," he cooed, smiling faintly.  
  
"Morn'," she whispered back. She pulled herself up, her lips finding his in a tender 'good morning' kiss. "Rachel is going to be up soon," Monica breathed out, knowing that Chandler would have to leave again.  
  
He groaned, "I hate this."  
  
"What?"  
  
"This, I hate having to keep this a secret. You know how hard it is to leave you every morning? And when we all hang out together, I hate not being able to hug you, or to kiss you, or even hold your hand. I hate it."  
  
"I know, me too. But, we can't,"  
  
"I know," Chandler sighed, "and it sucks."  
  
"Big time," she agreed with him.  
  
He sighed again, running his hand up and down her arm, trying to think of some way to stay longer, even though he knew there wasn't any. He would do this to himself every morning, and every morning never come up with a thing.  
  
"Rachel is going to be up soon, it's almost six-thirty," Monica commented, staring at the clock. "You gotta leave."  
  
Chandler nodded, "alright, I'll go," he sighed, forcing himself off the bed. The cold air hit him harder then usual, and he already found himself missing her warmth while he pulled on his clothes for the day, half awake. If there was one drawback to him and Monica dating, it was this. He barely ever got enough sleep, and work was a bitch normally, but even more so with no sleep.  
  
Once he was finished, he walked back over to Monica, kneeling down besides the bed. "Hey you," he whispered, his face inches from hers.  
  
"Hey yourself," she whispered back, half-awake, half-asleep.  
  
He leaned in, catching her lips again in a more passionate kiss, breaking it after a few moments. She smiled contently, watching him as he walked back out of the room.  
  
"Bye," he whispered, shutting the door quietly, leaving Monica alone in the dark again. She would start moving again in another fifteen minutes, having to go and start breakfast for everyone. And then, about another fifteen minutes later, he would come back again with everyone else. Both of them pretending like nothing happened. Like they were still just good friends. "Hello, children!" Chandler greeted everyone while walking into Monica's kitchen, a visible spring in his step.  
  
"What's with you man?" Ross finally asked, while buttering his toast, "you're so happy now," Ross paused, dropping his bread and a giant smirk coming around his face, "CHANDLER'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND!" He announced his findings to everyone in the room, hell, maybe even the people next door.  
  
"What?" Chandler jumped, "no, no, I don't! Why, why, would I have a girlfriend?"  
  
"Yeah," Monica put in a fake laugh, "like anyone would want to date Chandler, I mean, come on Ross!"  
  
Chandler gave Monica a look, more of an amused look then anything else, but a look none the less.  
  
"Yeah, good point," Ross mumbled, picking up his toast and resuming buttering, "but it would explain why he is so happy."  
  
"Yeah, Ross's got a point there," Rachel crossed her arms, "in fact, both Monica and Chandler seem happier then usual. What's up guys?"  
  
Chandler dropped his pancake, and Monica just stood there while another pancake sizzled in the frying pan. "Umm, what do you mean Rach?" Monica asked uncomfortably.  
  
"Oh my God! YOU GUYS ARE DOING IT!" Phoebe yelled, and Chandler was sure that this time at least the whole building, if not whole block heard her.  
  
Chandler and Monica laughed uncomfortably, "that's funny, Pheebs!"  
  
"Yeah, I could do so much better!" Monica laughed, pointing at Chandler, "I mean, its Chandler!"  
  
"Ouch," Chandler gave Monica another amused look.  
  
Ross had again dropped his toast, and now was clutching his knife. Phoebe turned to him, "wow, Ross, you look mad." She pointed out, "is it because Chandler and Monica are doing it?"  
  
"WE'RE NOT DOING IT!" They yelled at the same time, both casting each other annoyed looks.  
  
Rachel gasped, pointing at them, "see! They are! They're talking at the same time!"  
  
"ARE NOT!" They yelled at the same time, again, making sure that maybe all of New York City heard them. They were really going for the record today.  
  
"OHMYGOD! You're right, Rach!" Phoebe laughed, now forgetting about Ross.  
  
"Pheebs, may I remind you as you are screaming that," Ross cleared his throat, "that's MY LITTLE SISTER YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!" He yelled at her, rising out of his chair ever so slightly.  
  
Phoebe shrugged, "sorry, Ross, we were only kidding."  
  
"Yeah, I mean, come on, Monica and Chandler together? And we wouldn't know? What kind of idiots do you take us for?" Rachel laughed, walking back into the bathroom to finish getting ready before leaving for work.  
  
Chandler shot an amused grin over at Monica, hoping it went unnoticed by others. If only Rachel knew the irony of her statement. Monica smiled back at Chandler, sharing equal amusement in her eyes. "Hey, where's Joey. He never misses pancakes," Monica asked, deciding that it was a good time to be changing the subject to something safe.  
  
"I donno," Ross shrugged, returning once again to his toast, this time ready to eat it.  
  
"I think he had a date last night," Chandler shrugged, "I donno really. I did some laundry, watched some TV, then went to bed pretty early."  
  
"So the conclusion that Joey had a date fits in where?" Ross asked slowly, as if mocking his friend's idea, completely forgetting about their previous topic.  
  
"Ooh! I bet he heard them last night!" Phoebe decided, half laughing.  
  
Chandler shook his head, "nope, I slept like a baby last night. Didn't hear Joey at all," he shrugged.  
  
Ross gave him another look, "I prove my point," he mumbled while chewing.  
  
"Well, actually, Ross, my idea comes from the fact that Joey is not here eating, which leads me to only two possible conclusions: Joey has been abducted by aliens or Joey is busy dumping another girl."  
  
"Isn't that you're job?" Rachel asked, walking back into the kitchen.  
  
"And miss pancakes, I think he can handle it himself for once!" Chandler said with mock seriousness, taking another huge bite of his pancake.  
  
"Hey Ross? Why are you asking about Joey, I mean you do live with them," Rachel asked, amusement in her tone.  
  
Ross squirmed around uncomfortably, "well, umm, you see, err,"  
  
"Getting over Emily so soon, are we?" Monica teased, but silently thanking God for her brother's new found love interest. Emily was a little twit, she couldn't believe Ross had ever wanted to marry her in the first place. "What's her name?"  
  
He looked over at Chandler, then his eyes shifted back to his plate of food. "You're gonna hate me, man," he mumbled more to his plate of food as apposed to Chandler.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"It was Janice," he mumbled, still staring down at his plate.  
  
The room burst out into laughter, thinking that Ross was probably just kidding around. Janice had always irked all of them, but especially Ross and Joey. They had to deal with her more usually, anyways. Chandler laughed hardest of all of them, "come on, man," he made out between laughs, "what's her name!"  
  
"I told you, it's Janice!" He stood up angrily, grabbing his empty plate and walking over to the sink. "And I know there are rules, man, and I broke one of 'em. I'm so sorry, but I really like her." He rambled on for another moment or two, while the rest of the friends stood in the shock of someone actually liking Janice. Or maybe it was more of Ross actually liking Janice.  
  
"What? What rules?" Rachel blurted out, breaking the silence. "How is Janice involved in the rules?"  
  
"Y'know, you shouldn't date your best friend's ex's, or possible girlfriends, or girls their related too," he shrugged, leaning against the kitchen sink. "I'm so sorry man, I don't know if you could ever forgive me."  
  
Monica dropped her spatula, and Chandler suddenly found himself not hungry anymore. "You know what, I am mad," Chandler made out with mock anger. It was more fear then anything else, but he tired his best to make it come off as anger. He stood up out of his chair, pointing dramatically, "but you know what! I'm gonna forgive you!" He shrugged, trying to make it look like that was a really hard thing to do, "because that's what friends do! When one of us breaks one of those rules, we forgive each other! F-O-R-G-I-V-E! Forgive!"  
  
"Oh really man, cause that means a lot to me," Ross smiled, "cause I'm going out with her again tonight."  
  
"Forgiving!" Chandler shouted again, "I want you to remember that I forgave you!"  
  
"Okay, Chandler, I think he's got the point," Phoebe commented, not even bothering to look up from her magazine.  
  
"Hey I got a question," Rachel eyed Chandler suspiciously.  
  
"What's up, Rach?" Monica asked, trying to act as normal as possible.  
  
"How come Chandler didn't know that Ross wasn't home last night?"  
  
Chandler's eyes got big, "well, well, you see, it's because, it's because, I went to bed so early last night!"  
  
"Uh, huh," Rachel said, not connived, "whatever you say, Bing."

Chandler wrapped his arm around Monica, throwing all caution to the wind as they walked through Central Park together. It was getting harder and harder for him not to show any affection towards her in public, in fact his friends were really the only ones stopping him from going up on the roof and screaming how much he loved her to all of New York city.  
  
Monica rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes for a moment, glad to be near him. "We're a real couple," she mumbled, "for once."  
  
He smiled, tightening his grip on her, "I could get used to this."  
  
"We should separate pretty soon, we're almost home," she mumbled, not making any effort to release herself from his grip.  
  
"What if we don't go home just yet?"  
  
"We can't, they're,"  
  
He stopped her, putting a finger to her lips, "shh, they'll never know. Let's just turn around, and walk back through the park."  
  
Monica smiled, leaning up and kissing his lips again. When they released, she took him by the hand, turning around and walking back through the park again with him.  
  
"My parents are coming into town this weekend," Monica said with a slight groan, "this is going to be awful!"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I won't be able to see you."  
  
"And why not? We sneak out all the time, why should your parents be a problem?"  
  
Monica looked down at her feet, "because they really don't like you," she mumbled.  
  
"What! Why?"  
  
Monica stopped, turning into face him, "I donno why, they just really don't like you," she looked at him sadly. "But you know what, that doesn't matter. They shouldn't dictate who I should see and who I shouldn't!"  
  
Chandler smiled, pulling her in so that his nose touched hers, "you're the best."  
  
"I know," Monica teased, kissing him playfully.  
  
"You know, I really don't see why I still can't sneak in to see you, I mean me and Ross sneaked into your guys house all the time when we were in college!"  
  
"But my mom would freak! I mean, she already thinks I'm a slut, why not prove it!"  
  
"But you're not a slut," he said slowly.  
  
"I know! But to her, I am!"  
  
Chandler smiled, "I like living dangerously."  
  
Monica laughed lightly, "well, I guess it couldn't hurt, I mean, there's already a lot at steak," she leaned in closer to him.  
  
"Yeah, totally."  
  
"Why not toss that into the mix," she cooed, her lips meeting his again in another fiery kiss. She ringed her arms around his neck, pulling him even closer.  
  
Pulling away for lack of oxygen, he whispered, "I love you, Monica Geller."  
  
"I love you too, Chandler Bing."

Monica sat in her apartment, armed with a pair of yellow gloves, a cleaning kit, and a huge bucket of water. This would be the cleanings to end all cleanings, a cleaning that would put to shame the white glove test. Her parents would be here, in her apartment, in under eighteen hours, and she still hadn't cleaned Rachel's room.  
  
It had been decided that Rachel would stay over at Phoebe's until her parents left in a couple of days, and Jack and Judy Geller would take over her room in order to save some money and spend some quality time with their daughter. Or that is at least what her mother had said to her. Her thoughts: her father was just being cheap again, not wanting to spring for a hotel in New York City.  
  
"Hey Mon!" Chandler walked into the apartment, smiling happily, "you ready to go out to lunch?"  
  
"Lunch! I can't go out to lunch! Their gonna be here in," she checked her watch, "seventeen hours, thirty-seven minutes, and ten seconds! How can I go out to lunch!" She yelled, scrubbing the entertainment center.  
  
"Whoa there, calm down, Monica. The place looks great!"  
  
"No! No it doesn't! I need to clean it! I mean just look over there!" She pointed to the corner next to the bathroom.  
  
"Yes, it's a corner, I'm sure glad we have those cause you know without them this apartment would be going on forever and ever."  
  
"Not helping!"  
  
"Sorry," he held up in hands in defeat. "Look, would you like some help?"  
  
"No! You don't know the system!"  
  
"Would you like be to get you a muffin or something? You know, food?"  
  
"Food! Food leaves crumbs!"  
  
"How about some coffee, would you like some coffee?" She looked up at him, deciding as to if she really wanted the coffee. "I'll even put it on a coaster for you."  
  
"A coaster?"  
  
"Yes, a coaster."  
  
"Alright, I could go for a coffee."  
  
"Okay then, I'll go and get you that coffee," Chandler nodded, walking back out of the war zone that was once Monica and Rachel's apartment.

"Now you just sit out here and think about what you did!" Chandler scolded the duck, standing outside in the hallway. The duck quaked back at him, flapping his wings in defiance. "You know what! No dinner for you tonight either!" He challenged, pointing his finger at the duck.  
  
"Hey Chandler," Ross walked over to his new roommate, his parents following behind him, eyes wide open. "What did the Duck do this time?"  
  
Chandler put his hands on his hips, "you know, you think you're doing a good job raising them, teaching them good lessons, and then, BAM! He goes and terrorizes the chick!"  
  
"Ah, man, not that again? You think they'd stop fighting eventually," Ross tried to console his friend, "but you know what, that is no fault of your own, or Joey's for that matter."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, maybe your right," Chandler sighed, "oh hi, Mr. and Mrs. Geller! How are things?" Chandler greeted them, putting on a smile.  
  
"Oh, hi, Chandler," Judy said slowly, disgust in her voice, "Chandler's duck."  
  
"Well I heard you guys were gonna be in town for a couple of days, and that's great," he continued on with his one sided conversation with the Geller's.  
  
"Yes, we're in town 'til Tuesday," Jack answered.  
  
"Tuesday? Well, I guess I'll be seeing ya!" Chandler smiled, walking back into his apartment.  
  
"Didn't you forget your duck!" Jack yelled after him, pointing to the duck still sitting out in the hallway.  
  
Chandler shook his head, "nah, the Chick and the Duck are at it again, so it's time for a time out," he shrugged, shutting the door behind him.  
  
"He has a chicken too!" Judy complained, "you're living with poultry, Ross!"  
  
"Their Joey and Chandler's pets, what am I supposed to do about it? Besides, this is only temporary, until I can find my own apartment."  
  
"Oh, hey, Mr. and Mrs. Geller!" Rachel greeted them, walking over to them in the hallway, smiling happily. "I'm just gonna grab my stuff, and I'll be outta there, okay?" She looked down at the floor, noticing the duck sitting in the middle of the hallway, "Chick and Duck are at it again, huh?" She commented, "they should have Phoebe talk to them again, that seemed to work last time," she shrugged walking into her apartment.  
  
"Ross," Judy whacked her son on the back of his head, "get new friends!" She said harshly, storming into the apartment behind Rachel, Jack in tow.  
  
"Mom!" Ross rolled his eyes, but followed them into the apartment, "you shouldn't say that!"  
  
"Shouldn't say what?" Monica walked over to them, forcing herself to put on a smile, "hey mom, hey dad!" She said with mock happiness, "how are things? You enjoying the city?"  
  
"Thrilled," her mother gave her a look, "and do you know that you're friends have a duck in the middle of the hallway."  
  
"Oh again? I can't believe it."  
  
"For once, something we agree,"  
  
"PHEEBS! Go talk to the Chick and Duck again, could ya?" Monica yelled, walking through the apartment looking for the blonde.  
  
"Oh? Again? I can't believe it! What will you guys ever do without me!" Phoebe stormed out of the apartment and into the hallway, sitting next to the duck.  
  
"So, Mom and Dad, how are things?" Monica smiled, turning back to face her parents.  
  
"Ah, just fine dear," her mother said, disgust in her eyes as she watched Phoebe talk to the duck in the hallway.  
  
"What's new with you?" Her father intervened, or at least that is what Monica would like to think her father was doing, but she wasn't entirely sure he was capable of that sort of thing.  
  
"Nothing really," Monica smiled, "I've just been here, y'know, helping Ross get over Emily, he met another girl, did you hear!"  
  
"Yes, yes, we've heard all about it!" Judy smiled happily, "and she seems like a very nice girl, I can't wait to meet her." Rachel burst out into audible laughter in her bedroom, highly amused by this comment. Monica managed to keep her cool, and not think about how the meeting would be between her mother and Janice. Although, she would pay some serious cash to see it, from far away.  
  
"What's wrong with Rachel?" Jack leaned in, hearing her uncontrollable laughs.  
  
"Rachel's strange like that," Ross commented, probably meaning it, but what's a little bit more water under the bridge?  
  
"So have you been seeing anyone, Monica?" Judy smiled, putting her face dangerously close to her daughter's.  
  
Monica turned a little red, "no, no, why would you say that? I'm busy working, need to make rent, y'know!" She laughed uncomfortably.  
  
"Well have we got the guy for you!" Jack smiled happily, "he's nice, likes to cook, visits the city a lot,"  
  
She put her hand up, "no, no thanks, I'm fine."  
  
"No, no you're not! You're almost thirty!" Her mother complained, "I was married before I turned thirty! In fact! All my friend's daughters are married, and they're not thirty!"  
  
"Well thanks for pointing that one out, mom," Monica said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "I can't hear that enough!" She through her hands up into the air, walking out of the apartment without another word.  
  
"What did I say?" Judy asked the remaining people in the room, looking around like she had done nothing wrong.  
  
"She didn't want to be set up, Mom. She never does, and never will," Ross complained, "I can't believe you did that again."

__

_So there you guys go, my first stab at a Friends fanficion, starring no other then Monica and Chandler, or as they are affectionatly called by Ross in one epsiode "Mondler". _

_Please review, it would really help me a ton. _


	2. Two

_Well, here we go, another chappy to add to this fic. I must say, I'm not exactly thirlled with how some of the writing quality has turned out, but this is my first Friends fic, so I really have nothing to compare it with. Still working out the bugs on the characters..._

_Well thanks to all who reviewed: ChanMon04, Tikki1991, Llew, Mondler, Anhonestmoose, CM4ever. All of your reivews were overly kind. Thanks a bunch._

_Well, on with the chappy!_

* * *

Monica walked into the guy's apartment, her mother had been there a whole two minutes and she was already angry with her. That must have been some type of record for them.  
  
"Hey, what's wrong?" Chandler sat in his chair, watching as Monica just stood in the kitchen of his apartment.  
  
"Nothing," she mumbled, walking over to him. "Just, errr, she makes me so angry!"  
  
"Here, come over here and sit with me, tell me about it," Chandler motioned her over, "it was your mom again wasn't it?"  
  
She nodded, sitting down on his lap, and burying her head in his chest. He wrapped his arm around her, rubbing her back soothingly. "Shh, there, there, come on, it probably wasn't that bad. What did she try to do anyways?"  
  
"She tired to set me up again with some boy she knows," she mumbled, "and so nicely reminded me that I'm gonna be thirty and not married. Hell! I've never even been close!"  
  
"Well you should think that with Ross in your family, your parents wouldn't be such a fan of the entire marriage thing, y'know?"  
  
Monica smiled, "yeah, you would think so. I guess I'll have to do a whole lot worse to compete with marrying a lesbian."  
  
"Or saying the wrong name at the altar, that was pretty bad, I mean of all days to forget."  
  
She smiled, feeling better again, "thanks."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"Cheering me up, again."  
  
"No prob, that's my job, isn't it?"  
  
"Course," she smiled, leaning in and kissing him again, "when's Joey gonna be back?" She asked, breaking the kiss.  
  
"Probably soon, it's almost dinner time," Chandler sighed, "and besides, you're parents are right across the hall along with your brother, who might I add is staying with me?"  
  
"I thought you liked to live dangerously?" She teased him, remembering what he had said earlier.  
  
"Yea, like I'll sneak in at some outrageous hour and sleep next to you, but do it when your parents and your brother are wide awake right across the hall, I think not."  
  
Monica nodded, "yeah, I guess, I mean they'll probably be looking for me after awhile," she grumbled, not really happy about the situation.  
  
"But you know what, we can still sit here for awhile," he smiled, "I don't mind just talking, or just kissing, I mean turn this chair around and we're golden!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"If someone rushes in, we can just say that I was comforting you!"  
  
"But what about Joey's chair?"  
  
"Have you never met Joey?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you think he'd let you sit in his chair? I think not."  
  
Monica smiled, "alright, I like living dangerously anyways."  
  
Chandler smiled, pulling her face to meet his in another fiery kiss, turning his chair around in the process. He ran his hands up and down her back, playing with the hem of her shit. She ran her fingers through his hair, trying to pull him closer and closer.  
  
"Hey Chandler!" Ross slammed the door shut, walking into the apartment. Both pulled away from their kiss instantly, both trying to be as calm as possible. "Where's Monica?"  
  
"I'm here," she said, trying to sound as depressed as possible. Chandler turned the chair back around, both of them having returned to their previous 'we're just friends' positions.  
  
"Hey, you alright?"  
  
"Yeah, I'll be fine," she sighed, "Chandler was nice enough to hear me out."  
  
Chandler nodded, "yeah, glad to be of service," he smiled rubbing her back softly.  
  
"Mom and Dad are still in your apartment, they seem kinda upset that you left and all."  
  
"Yea, sure," she mumbled not really wanting to go back to her apartment when she could be spending time with her boyfriend. "I'll be over there in a while, I just need some time to cool off."  
  
Ross nodded, "hey, why are you guys in the chair like that?"  
  
"Like what?" Chandler asked, his voice shaky.  
  
"Well," he laughed, "this will sound so stupid, but it sounded like you were kissing before I came in!" He forced another laugh, trying to act as cool as possible.   
  
Chandler and Monica looked at each other, then both burst into rounds of fake laughter. "Ross! Me and Monica! I thought we went through this before!"  
  
"Yeah, I mean like it's Chandler! I can't think of him like that! That's just, ew!"  
  
Ross shook his head, "yeah, sorry, I haven't gotten much sleep recently," Ross chuckled slightly, "yeah, Rach and Pheebs were right, I mean, we would so totally know if you were, well, you know. Right?"  
  
"Yeah, totally, man! I mean we are like the worst secret keepers ever!" Chandler laughed as hard as he possibly could, trying not to sound nervous.  
  
"Yeah, totally!"  
  
Ross shook his head, "yeah, sorry guys, I guess Pheebs and Rach were just starting to get to me or something," he shrugged, "so, Chandler you're coming over for dinner tonight, right?"  
  
"Depends, what are we having?"  
  
"Pizza, what else?" Ross shrugged, "just no beer, cause I don't think my parents will find drunk Monica as amusing as the rest of us."  
  
"Hey! Who says I'm gonna get drunk!"  
  
"Umm, Mon, you're mom's here. Undoubtedly she is gonna say or do something that is gonna make you angry, therefore, you are gonna drink yourself silly." Chandler explained to her, trying not to laugh.  
  
Monica pushed herself off the chair, "yeah, you're probably right," she mumbled walking over to their fridge and looking inside of anything good to drink.  
  
"Y'know, mom and dad are probably wondering where you are right now, Ross."  
  
"Nah, Pheebs is over there with the duck, and Rach is telling them about what's been going on recently." Chandler and Monica looked over at Ross, staring at him and waiting for his words to click. Ross's eyes got big, "I'll be over at your place!" He yelled, running out the door.  
  
"You know, you can't avoid your parents forever?" Chandler said, looking over at Monica who was still debating over what she wanted to drink. "Mon?" He said again, trying to get her to answer.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know," she mumbled, "why do they have to stay with me? Why can't they stay with you guys?"  
  
Chandler blinked a couple of times, "are you drunk?" He asked, picturing the Geller's playing some drinking game with Joey and his date.  
  
"No, but, err, she just makes me so mad sometimes!"  
  
Chandler sighed, pushing himself out of his chair and walked behind her. With a sly smile, he snaked his arms around her, resting his head on her shoulder and swaying slightly. "You gotta stop moping about this, let's go over there and prove her wrong. Kay? Let's prove to her that you're not a slut, that you are a good person, and that 'pulling a Monica' does not mean screwing up."  
  
She smiled, wrapping her arms around his and swaying with him. She didn't have to say anything for him to know what she was thinking. There really weren't any words to justify her feelings. To say 'I love you' would be a mass understatement, and all she could come up with was, "Thanks." And it was enough.

* * *

"So Ross goes off and cheats on me! Y'know about that right?" Rachel looked at the Geller's quickly, noting their confused glances decided to elaborate, "well it was with this girl from the copy print place, right? And he was all like, 'we were on a break, Rach!' 'How can that be cheating, Rach?' 'I love you, Rach, why would I cheat on you, Rach?'. How could you have not known that?"  
  
"Umm," Jack finally made out, right before Rachel cut him off again in her talking frenzy.  
  
"And so, when we were at the Beach House earlier this year, Ross decided that he liked me again, and I wrote him this note, explaining to him how I felt about it and what the terms would be if we got back together. And you know what! He fell asleep reading it! Lied to me! Said he read it and said that he did take full responsibility for our relationship sucking! Can you believe that! And so after two nights,"  
  
"RACHEL!" Ross ran into the apartment, stopping her from finishing her conversation with his parents.  
  
"Oh hey, Ross, we were just thinking about you!" Rachel smiled, "I was just telling your parents all about our past year!" "And Ross," Phoebe said from across the room, the duck sitting across from her, "Rachel says you were not on a break. Never were on a break. And never will be back together again if she has anything to do with it. That's pretty much the gist of what was said."  
  
Ross gave her a look, "anything else?"  
  
"Oh! And she told them about the copy house girl incident, which brought back into the conversation the break thing," Phoebe smiled.  
  
"Right," Ross said slowly.  
  
"Oh! And she said you're a cheater and a liar!"  
  
"Wow, Rach, you're on fire today," Ross turned to her and gave her a look.  
  
"Oh!"  
  
"What Phoebe! Did she say that I am a horrible person too!"  
  
"No,"  
  
"Then what!"  
  
"Janice called," Phoebe mumbled, "jeez, people don't appreciate anything anymore," she turned to the duck, continuing her so-called session with him.  
  
"Jeez Ross, she was just telling you what went on while you were gone," Rachel mumbled, pulling out a chair and sitting down, "what's with the anger today, anyways? You were like that this morning too,"  
  
"That was different," Ross gave her a look, "and it wasn't funny."  
  
"Oh, it was," Rachel smiled, suppressing her laughter.  
  
"Well, Ross, it seems you have had yet another rather eventful year! I mean, before the wedding and all, we pretty much got what happed there." Judy smiled, looking at her son. "Now, where's Monica? I thought you were going to go and get her."  
  
"She's over at Chandler," he mumbled, pointing over his shoulder to indicate she was across the hall. "They're hanging out or whatever."  
  
Phoebe giggled, "you know what would be funny, Rach?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"If all that stuff we said this morning was true," Phoebe let out a laugh.  
  
"Oh yeah! It would be! Ironic, but funny ironic."  
  
"Okay, totally not funny anymore. Well, it never really was funny to begin with, but now it like ten times less funny. It's, it's, blah." Ross glared at both Phoebe and Rachel, trying to keep all thoughts about Chandler screwing his little sister out of his head. It just wasn't a thought he wanted to think.  
  
"What happened this morning?" Jack asked, looking around the room, confused.  
  
"Oh nothing, we were just joking around about Monica and Chandler," Rachel said through her giggles. "Y'know about them being a couple or something like that. Funny huh?"  
  
"Hilarious," Judy deadpanned.  
  
"Well I thought it was," Rachel said under her breath.  
  
"What was that, dear?"  
  
"Nothing," Rachel smiled causally, "so, what brings you two here?"  
  
"Well, we felt bad that we haven't visited Ross since the wedding incident, you know to make sure he was okay, so we decided it was better later then never and gave Monica a call." Jack explained happily, forgetting all about the pervious topic of conversation.  
  
Rachel nodded slowly, "r-right, and, that's it? Huh."  
  
"What about Monica!" Phoebe piped in, "don't you wanna know what's up with her?"  
  
Judy snorted, "of course we do! That's why we're staying with her!"  
  
"Oh," Phoebe turned her attention back to the duck.  
  
"Hey Pheebs! Have you seen the duck?" Joey walked into the apartment, sporting the chicken in his right arm and a beer in his left. "Chandler said that they were fighting again!"  
  
"Yeah, Joe, the duck's over here," Phoebe motioned him over, "how the chick doin'?"  
  
"Better, I think, I just don't know how to get through to them! I mean, I thought we had been through this before. What kind of parent does that make me if my chick and duck can't get along!" Joey ran over to Phoebe, setting the chick down on the opposite side of the duck. "Oh, by the way, hey Mr. and Mrs. Geller! I didn't know you guys were coming!"  
  
"Joe, I told you last week," Ross said slowly, "remember, you were eating pancakes and drinking some expired milk."  
  
Joey thought back, "I remember the milk, that had some nasty side effects if you know what I mean, but," he paused again in deep thought, "nope, nope, I don't remember."  
  
"Huh. Maybe I was talking to Chandler or something."  
  
"You drink expired milk!" Judy exclaimed, "and you live with them, Ross!"  
  
"Well I wasn't gonna waste it!" Joey crossed his arms defiantly, "I am not a milk waster unlike some people."  
  
"Hey, Joey, why aren't you in your apartment?" Jack asked, changing the conversation.  
  
"Because Monica and Chandler are in there," he said without thinking.  
  
"So?" Rachel asked, giving him a look and motioning for him to elaborate.  
  
"So, so, err, well, Mon's cleaning! And I don't wanna get in the way of that!" Joey tired to cover up his slip up, laughing nervously, "I don't know how Chandler can stand to stay in there!"  
  
"Right," Rachel said slowly, picking up a magazine from the table and beginning to flip through it, "whatever you say, Joey."

* * *

He held her in his arms, no longer caring it one of his friends happened to walk in. It didn't matter to him anymore. The only thing that mattered was her, and he had her. Why should he let something stand in his way to perfection?  
  
Monica's head stirred a little, burying it further into Chandler's shoulder. They both sat in the barkerlounger, just holding each other. Well, actually he was pretty sure she had fallen asleep quite some time again, but that didn't matter.  
  
Her eyes fluttered open, lifting her head up and taking in her surroundings for a moment. "What time is?" She asked sleepily, looking back over at Chandler.  
  
"Ah, sleeping beauty finally returns," he smirked, kissing her on the forehead.  
  
"I can't believe I fell asleep, everyone's gonna wonder what's going on."  
  
"And I don't think this morning's topic of conversation really helps all the much either."  
  
She shot him a look, "you gotta be kidding me, they're still talking about that?"  
  
He shrugged, "it's Pheebs and Rach, what else do you expect them to do? Well, maybe just Pheebs, cause Rach has got that whole jealous ex- girlfriend thing going for her now."  
  
"You're so mean," she laughed.  
  
"Hey, might I remind you that you're the one who is laughing."  
  
She gave him a look, unable to come up with any comeback whatsoever.  
  
"Ha, I win," Chandler smiled, "Chandler: 1, Monica: 0!"  
  
She gave him another look.  
  
"And now we're tied again."  
  
There was a soft knocking on the door, and Monica inwardly groaned. It had to be one, or even both, of her parents. All of their friends would just walk in, even Joey who knew what activities could possibly be going on. In fact, he'd probably try and walk in on those types of activities at the chance of seeing Monica naked.  
  
"Quick! Pretend you're asleep!" Chandler said in a hushed whisper. Monica nodded, letting her head fall back down against his chest and loosing her grip on him. Chandler let his head fall back against the head rest on the chair, and also loosened his grip on her from a quote 'loving' hug to a 'friendly yet comforting' hug.  
  
"Monica? Chandler?" Judy called into the apartment, walking in.  
  
Both tried to stay as still as possible, keeping up the act that they were asleep.  
  
"Oh," she mumbled looking at her daughter and Chandler on the chair, "found them!"  
  
"Is she okay?" Ross asked, walking into the apartment from the hallway along with everyone else behind him.  
  
"Well I'm sure she's fine, but it looks like Chandler is the one who is on cloud nine," Rachel laughed, "right, Pheebs?"  
  
"This is so funny!" Phoebe laughed, jumping up and down and pointing, "it's just like this morning, only better!"  
  
"I know!"  
  
"Hey, do you think we should wake them up?" Jack asked, walking closer to the two. Chandler felt his body tense up, still trying to stay as still as possible.  
  
"Eh, let's let them sleep," Rachel decided, "we can wake them up when the pizza gets here."  
  
"Well, let's at least move them apart!" Judy finally made out, still not happy to know that her daughter was asleep in Chandler's arms.  
  
"Ooh, but they're so cute like that," Phoebe cooed, "and besides, I wanna see what happens when they wake up!"  
  
"Yeah, totally, and we should at least get a picture," Rachel agreed.  
  
Ross nodded, "you know, this is kinda funny, as long as Chandler's arm stays there," he said the last part firmly.  
  
"Look, Ross, they're asleep, if Chandler's arm moved from there, he wasn't doing it on purpose. So you can't kill him," Rachel sighed.  
  
"But still,"  
  
"No buts!"  
  
"But,"  
  
"Ahp!"  
  
"But,"  
  
Smack.  
  
"Ow."  
  
"I think Rach won that one, what do you say, Joey?" Phoebe turned to Joey who was trying to stay as silent as possible. He didn't want something to slip like before, and besides, he had lied and said that Monica was cleaning and this wasn't exactly cleaning.  
  
"Yep," he nodded, trying to act as normal as possible.  
  
"You know, I was sure I heard talking before I went in," Judy mumbled out loud.  
  
"Maybe you heard talking from one of the other apartments," Joey tired to reason with her, knowing better then to snitch. Especially with his friends right there in front of him. "The walls are like paper," he mumbled.  
  
"Come on, let's get outta here, Rach, you and Pheebs can be here when the wake up happens, but I know I sure as hell don't wanna be here," Ross mumbled motioning for everyone to follow him out the door.  
  
"Why cause you wanna kill Chandler?" Phoebe teased, following behind him in the large group.  
  
"Let's not give him ideas, Pheebs," Joey laughed uncomfortably, still trying to act as normal as possible.  
  
"No giving him ideas would be shoving a stake knife in his hand, this is just stating the obvious," Rachel explained, shutting the door behind her.

* * *

_Well, I hope I didn't bore you too much. Reviews would be really great, thanks. _

__


	3. Three

_Well, the response to this fic has been quite interesting. Thanks agian for all the great reviews, I love you guys!_

_Anyways, I know this is long overdue, but here is what exactly in going on for this fic: **Hopefully you've noticed it's season five fluff; Chandler and Monica have already said their 'I love yous'; Joey knows, nobody else knows; Ross is lecturing at the University. **I know that last one is out of whack for the timeline, but go with me here. _

_Anyways, I'm done now. Hope you like the chappy._

* * *

Chandler opened one of his eyes, making sure the coast was clear. He let out a huge breath, thanking God silently that his friends' weren't the brightest crayons in the box. Or at least had a weird sense of humor, which usually included public humiliation of some sort. He really had to get new friends if he wanted to keep even a little shred of dignity.

"We owe Joey big time," Monica whispered breaking their silence.

"No kidding, maybe you should make him something to eat. Y'know, food always motivates him to keep quiet."

"Good point, I'll start on that tomorrow, hell, I'll bribe him this entire week with food!"

"Good plan, good plan."

"So, we probably should get up now," she mumbled, not really wanting to move. "Just yell really loud, and jump from the chair, that should be a good enough performance."

"Yea, or we could wait for a little while longer," he smiled hopefully, "I mean, big empty apartment, me, comfy chair, me, bedroom located conveniently near by, me,"

Monica held her hand up to cut him off, "yeah, I get the picture, Chandler. But Rach and Pheebs are gonna be in here any minute. It's better they don't see us get up, cause they won't believe it."

"Why?"

"You'll laugh."

"Will not."

"Will too."

"Will not."

"Okay, mister big shot, prove it."

"And how do you want me to do that?"

"Well, when we get up, if you don't laugh, we'll, we'll," she smiled, "we'll have sex."

"We already do that," Chandler reminded her.

"On the balcony," she offered, knowing that's what he wanted.

He grinned, "but what if they see us?"

"Next week, Ross is going to be busy at lectures again, Rach at her job, and Pheebs and Joey will be easy to take care of. We'll send them to the zoo or something."

"Or maybe to watch Ross for us," Chandler said slowly.

"Yeah, good point, then we'll send them to the zoo."

"Or circus even!"

"Ooh! That's good!" Monica laughed, "Pheebs and Joey would love the circus! And Ross should be there for supervision, y'know."

"So, what happens if I lose?"

"No sex on the balcony, and,"

"And," he waved his hands, waiting for an answer.

"Hold on! I'm thinking!"

He held up his hands in mock defensive. "You're game,"

"And you'll have to confess to everyone that you're really gay!"

"Hey that is _so _not even! I mean sex on the balcony is not worth no sex and telling everyone I'm gay! I mean, I'm pretty sure they think that all ready! Let's not give them proof!"

"Okay, fine, and,"

"And?"

"And we'll trade apartments again!"

"Oh! Are you sure you're up to that, I mean, may I remind you what happened last time?" He teased, smirking slightly.

"I am not going to lose!" She yelled, "I always win!"

"Yes, yes you do, Mon," Chandler quickly agreed, "did I mention that I love you?"

"Maybe," she smiled, leaning in closely and capturing his lips again in a fiery kiss. He wrapped his arms around her, making sure she couldn't go anywhere, and ran his hands up and down her back and eventually down onto her thigh. She put her hands on his cheeks, trying to pull him in as close as possible as the kiss grew with more and more passion.

"Hey Pheebs, got the," Rachel stood still with the door wide open and gaped at the scene in front of her. "Oh shit."

"Yeah right," Phoebe walked behind her, holding up a camera in the right hand, "oh my god."

Monica and Chandler jumped apart, trying to act as normal as possible. Both of their brains working over time to try and produce a believable excuse for what they had just seen.

Monica reacted first, "close the door!"

Rachel nodded, closing the door as quickly as possible, almost hitting Phoebe in the process. She stood there, her mouth still hanging open, trying to comprehend the scene in front of her.

"What?" Phoebe finally made out, point between Monica and Chandler, "you, and you!"

Chandler nodded, "heh, funny in that sorta ironic way, huh?"

"I need to sit down," Rachel mumbled, walking over to the couch and taking a seat her hand on her forehead. "Is this what a heart attack feels like?"

"Oh my god!" Phoebe repeated herself, still pointing from Chandler to Monica.

"Look, you guys can't tell anyone. ANYONE," Monica looked at her two friends sternly, "especially not my family! Oh god! My family!"

"My god," Rachel still stared at them, "how long has this been going on for!"

Chandler looked at Monica uncomfortably, "since," he paused, "London."

"LONDON!" Phoebe shouted, "dammit! How come all the fun stuff happened in London! While I was stuck here doing my stupid pregnancy stuff. Stupid pregnancy." Phoebe walked over, joining Rachel on the couch, although she appeared to be a little bit more composed then Rachel.

"I can't believe this," Rachel mumbled out.

Monica shallowed hard, "I'm sorry, we should have told you guys."

"Of course you should have told me! I mean, come on! We're roommates! We tell each other everything!"

Phoebe put her hand on Rachel's knee, signaling her to calm down. "In light of Rachel's comments, why didn't you guys tell us. I mean, this is, this is huge. I mean it's like bigger then huge! It's like, hugerest."

"Because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it," Chandler explained, walking over to Monica and putting his arm around her. "Believe me, we've wanted to tell all of you for so long, but, well, you guys saw the way Ross reacted to your joke this morning. I am so dead!"

"I mean, Pheebs, look how you just reacted. We're both horrible at relationships as it is, and we didn't want you guys to get all involved and really screw us up," Monica paused, "more." She added as an afterthought. Her and Chandler were both pretty screwed up when it came to relationships.

"So you and fear of commitment boy, who would have thought," Phoebe mused.

"So are we the only one's who know?" Rachel mumbled out, her hand still plastered to her forehead.

Monica darted her eyes away, "no," she said slowly, "Joey knows."

Rachel jerked her head upwards, her hand flying into Phoebe. "Wait! Joey gets to know! And I don't! How is that any different!"

"Ow,"

"Sorry, Pheebs!"

"I'm sorry, Rach! I wanted to tell you, really! But Joey found out by accident, and now you guys know, and now my parents are here. And Ross is here."

"Mon, Ross is always here!"

"So? He's gonna kill Chandler! You heard what he said when we were asleep in the chair!"

Rachel gasped, "you were supposed to be asleep, you, you, fake sleepers you!"

"This is getting out of hand," Chandler mumbled to Phoebe.

She nodded, "but still amusing, I say we let it play out."

"Eh," Chandler debated his options, "we should stop them. Someone's gonna hear something, and woman who are hyped up on emotions make horrible secret keepers."

"Ah, good point. You grab Mon, I'll grab Rach?"

"On three?"

"One,"

"Two,"

"Three!" Both Phoebe and Chandler lunged out, grabbing their respective persons by the arms.

"Okay! Look both of you! We need to calm down!" Chandler shouted, then composing himself, continued on, "now, I know this isn't the way I wanted anyone to find out. We wanted to tell you ourselves when we were ready, but it doesn't look like we have that luxury now do we?"

"It was an accident, Rach. Look at the bigger picture, Monica and Chandler! Chandler and Monica! I mean, come on, that's like you and Ross expect better! Because there haven't been any breaks."

"We were not on a break!"

"Sorry, sorry, it slipped out wrong. No supposed breaks, when there really wasn't," Phoebe corrected herself.

"Better."

"Now, can you guys say you're sorry and let's move on, kay?" Chandler looked between Monica and Rachel, waiting for either one to make a move.

Monica shrugged, loosing herself from Chandler's grip, "I'm sorry, Rach. I should have told you sooner."

Rachel loosened herself from Phoebe's grip, rolling her shoulders uncomfortably, "damn Phoebe, you have a tight grip," she mumbled. Then she looked at Monica, nodding slowly she said, "I should have known there was something up. You guys were too happy," she smiled, "and I'm sorry, Mon. It was kinda out of the blue for me. I mean, come on, we know everything," she motioned between her and Phoebe.

"I know! How'd you keep it from us for so long! I mean, we're like the best!"

Monica smiled, "well, you know, it was nothing special."

Chandler frowned, "nothing special. I haven't gotten a decent night's sleep in months because I've had to meet you at like three in the morning. That's nothing special? Oh! Oh! And what about all the stuff we've had to cover up that makes us look bad! Like the kissing!"

"Oh! Is that why you kissed us when you got back from London! I always thought it was some European thing."

"Well, okay, it was hard!" Monica caved in, "you two are tuff."

"But now we know! And you know that we know! Ha! Ha!" Rachel smiled, her mood taking a complete three sixty in the other direction. She grabbed Phoebe and pulled her down on the bright yellow couch with her. She clapped her hands together, "so! Now that we know and you know we,"

Monica held up her hand, "Rach."

"Oh, right, gotcha! Details. We want details."

Chandler frowned slightly, "I'm gonna go and let you girls do your," he paused, "girl stuff."

"Alright, bye," Monica said, sitting down on the coffee table in front of Rachel and Phoebe. Chandler smiled sneakily, walking over to her and kissing her head as her boyfriend for the first time in front of their friends. For something so trivial, it was the most gratifying thing he'd done in awhile.

"Love you," he mumbled, walking out the door.

"Love you too," she said back, at first out of habit, and then a big smile spread across her face. And those words took on a whole new meaning for her.

* * *

"So, you mean to tell us, son, that you were in fact, on a break?" Jack asked , sitting across from Ross at the table drinking a soda. Judy leaned on the back of the couch, behind him, trying to inspect every little detail about her daughter's apartment.

"Yes! Yes! Thank-you, Dad!"

"Then why was Rachel so persistent to the fact that you weren't on a break?" He wondered out loud, "she's a very determined girl, isn't she?"

"You could say that," Ross mumbled, trying to keep his cool.

"So, how are those lectures going down at the University, Monica told us all about them! We're so proud of you!" Judy squealed, putting her hands on Ross's shoulders, "can we come down and see one some time?"

Ross laughed, "well, you know, umm, umm, you don't have, too, umm, umm, if you insist!"

"Hello children!" Chandler slammed the apartment door shut, grinning from ear to ear. "Oh, and Mr. and Mrs. G."

"Mr. and Mrs. G? What's up with him?" Joey asked, coming out of the bathroom, the duck and chick following him, apparently having solved their differences again.

Ross gave Chandler a look, "you better not be smiling because you slept with my sister!"

Chandler jerked his head back, "I did not sleep with your sister!"

"You did too! We saw you two on that chair of yours! I don't understand why she couldn't have just sat in Joey's chair."

Joey gasped, clutching his heart, "dude! I can't believe you'd even think about something like that! I mean come on! It's Rosita!"

"Rosita? Who the hell is Rosita?" Judy commented, "and why would you be sitting on this woman?"

"Joey's chair, it's Rosita," Chandler explained, "and, Ross, you should know better then anybody, nobody sits in Joey's chair except Joey. I mean come on, that's like Chandler and Joey's apartment 101."

"So I take it you two just woke up," Joey commented, trying to hold back his laughter.

"No, Joe, I'm still asleep over there, I'm just having an out of body experience."

Joey glared at him, "hey, I could have woken you up! And that wouldn't have been pleasant. I'm thinking hot water in a cup."

"Oh, you wouldn't."

"Oh, yes, I believe I would."

"You bastard! I can't believe you'd even consider doing such a thing!"

"Chandler, Joey," Ross held up his hands, "it didn't happen okay? You're both just upset because the chick and the duck were fighting again."

"Oh my god," Judy whispered to Jack, "they are insane."

"Whatever, okay. Rachel and Pheebs are over at our place, man, so I thought we could take over their apartment for awhile."

Joey shrugged, "sure, why not." They both walked over to the couch, plopping down and turning on the TV, the duck and chick at their heels, completely forgetting about their argument minutes before and flipping quickly through all of the channels in attempt to find something good.

"Well aren't you four just the picture perfect family?" Ross teased, laughing at his own joke.

"Whatever man, you married a lesbian, and forgot a girl's name at the alter." Chandler and Joey high-fived, before returning to watching _Three's Company_.

"Do they realize that Monica and Rachel are over and Chandler and Joey's apartment, and Chandler and Joey are over at theirs?" Judy asked, looking strangely at Chandler and Joey on the couch.

"Yeah, so? They switched apartments last year. Lost a bet."

"They were betting! Apartments!"

"Umm, no," Ross lied, "they just decided to switch one day. And then they decided to switch back, something about this guy that sang some song in the morning. Joey missed him or something."

"Oh, okay."

* * *

_Please Review. Updates up Soon._


	4. Four

_Okay, here's the next installment of one of my more popular friends fics (although probably the least orginal). _

_Okay, here's the thank-yous for the all the reviews I have gotten so far (you guys are too kind): **Irish Holly, Funbol, Kate Winslet, P.I.D., Halie2, Sar24, CM4ever8, Broadway Diva,Tinkoo, Llew, Tikki1991, Amelia, Mondler, Luvmatt196, ChanMon04, Cass, Tilulation, Maddie, RKgeller, and anhonestmoose **(I love you're fics! I completely spazzed when I saw your reviews! I love you!) _

_Thank-you too all of you guys for supporting my fic! _

* * *

"So, so, London, huh? How did it happen?" Rachel asked, dying of anticipation. All three of them sat in a circle leaning in so tight that they could practically smell each other's breath.

"Heh, heh, well, ummm, maybe that's a story for another time!"

"What? Come on! You gotta tell us! Who knows? I could still be mad at you," Phoebe threatened, pulling back from the circle for a moment.

"Okay! Okay! I'll tell you," Monica caved, and Phoebe leaned back in. "We kinda, well, slept together."

"What? Why?"

"Well I was having a pretty crummy night, and we both had a little to drink, me more so then him, but it wasn't like he was taking advantage of me or anything!"

"Mon, Mon, calm down. It's okay," Rachel put her hand on her friend's knee, "before this I would have never believed that you would ever sleep with Chandler in a sober state of mind. Now, tell us, is he like amazing in bed or something?"

Monica turned a little red, and smiled, "oh my god, yes!"

"Like the best you've ever had?" Phoebe asked excitedly.

Monica nodded, "remember that boyfriend I told you guys about, and said he was the best I've ever had,"

Phoebe and Rachel paused, both in thought for a minute. "Oh!"

"There it is."

"That would explain the dance!"

"And why you were mad at him for awhile afterwards!"

"So, is he like really romantic around you or something? Cause, let's face it, it's Chandler." Rachel chucked at her statement, imagining Chandler trying to be romantic. Chandler romantic was definitely an oxymoron.

Monica shrugged, "actually, yeah, kinda scary huh?"

"Really?"

Monica nodded, "we went for a walk in the park the other day, and he told me that he loved me," she smiled dreamily, "and he's just so cute because he's so determined not to screw things up!"

"Aww," Rachel and Phoebe cooed, "I can't believe Chandler said that he loved you! That's so un-Chandler-like!"

"I know!"

"So are you guys like really serious or just me and Ross serious?"

Monica smiled, "I really, really love him."

"Oh my god," Rachel cried, "I'm so happy for you guys!" She pulled Monica into a hug, "this is so cool, you and Chandler, Chandler and you, Mondler! It's so perfect!"

"I just thought you guys were doing it! I didn't know you were doing it because you were in love!" She cooed as she wrapped her arms around the other girls, "I'm so happy for you guys," she squeaked out.

"I'm happy for me too!"

"What are we all so happy about?" Ross walked into the apartment, looking at the girls like they were crazy. "I thought you were pissed off, and I don't know about you, but happy and angry are like, well, I don't know," he paused then added loudly, "opposites!"

Monica waved her hand at her brother, "no, no, it's nothing. It's stupid. You've just missed a lot, that's all."

Rachel looked at Phoebe and added laughing, "yeah, I'll say!"

Monica shot both of them a look, "well, what's up, Ross?" She squeaked out uncomfortably, still trying to act as normal as possible.

He looked at them strangely, "pizza's here," he said slowly.

"Oh! Good! I'm starving!" Phoebe jumped up off the couch and walked, or rather ran, out of the apartment.

"Aren't you guys gonna tell me whats up?" Ross asked expectantly, eyeing both Monica and Rachel.

Rachel jumped off the couch, "you know what, we'd better get going, Mon, with Chandler and Joey in there it's like survival of the fastest."

"Good point, Rach, let's run faster," Monica gave her a hurried look before grabbing her arm and both of them running out of the apartment, leaving a very confused Ross behind.

"It's survival of the fittest, Rach! Fittest!" He yelled after her, walking out of the apartment behind them. He just had to come to terms that he probably would never know what they were talking about, and by the way they acted, he probably didn't want to know. He'd come to terms with these types of things a long time ago. It's best just to move on.

"Whatever Ross!" Rachel shouted back at him, "It doesn't matter!"

Ross rolled his eyes, "Just correcting you so that you won't sound so stupid, Rach." He continued on with their argument through the hallway and into the next apartment, Ross slamming the door behind them.

"You know what, Ross," Rachel glared at him and then hit her fists against each other twice.

"What does that mean, Jack?" Judy hissed at her husband, remembering back to when Ross had done it in high school. Monica snorted loudly.

"Monica snorted!" Joey teased, as he jumped up and down and pointed at her. "Monica snorted! Ha! Ha! Snorted! Snorted!"

"We get the picture, Joe," Chandler sighed.

"So, Mon, what we're you guys doing over there anyways? You were over there for like three hours!" Ross asked, trying his luck again at finding out what they were talking about.

"We were just talking, Ross, what's the big deal?" Monica tired to sound as normal as possible, but still had a noticeable edge to her voice.

"Well how did Rachel and Phoebe get pulled into it, is what I don't understand. 'Cause they went over there to take a picture of you and Chandler sleeping," he turned to Chandler and glared, "Which I don't approve of man,"

Chandler held up his hands, "Okay man," he tired to laugh, but it really didn't work.

"Well, how did you end up over here and the girls over there? Are we like missing something here?"

Phoebe laughed and looked at Rachel, "Yeah, I'll say! Right, Rach?" She nudged Rachel in the side, still chuckling to herself.

Rachel shot her the death glare, "Yea, Ross, you missed Monica and Chandler waking up!"

"Yea! Which was like totally weird!" Monica shouted, "Didn't you hear us yelling?"

"Yeah, I was sure all of New York heard us," Chandler's voice went low, like it always did when he tired to lie to his close friends. "Right, Mon, Pheebs, and Rach?"

Rachel nodded, "Yes, all of New York! Who knows? Maybe even all of New Jersey too!"

"Whatever, Rach. We didn't hear nothin' over here," Joey said.

"Are ya sure, Joe?" Chandler asked, his eyes wide.

"What's your deal, man?"

Chandler's eyes got bigger and he brought his face within inches of Joey's. "Are ya sure, Joe?" He repeated, a bit more drastically.

"Tot–ah, ha, I mean we were so focused on listening to Ross that I completely tuned out the rest of the world!" Joey laughed, as he walked over to Ross and patted him on the back, "I love this guy!"

"Ah, really? Thanks, man!" Ross smiled, pulling Joey into a huge hug. "I love you too!" He looked around at everyone in the room, "All of you guys!"

"You're right, Judy, this place has gone to the loony bins!" Jack whispered, if you could call it that, to his wife.

"You say that like that's just happened recently," Judy muttered back.

"Okay, Ross, done with the love feast," Joey said uncomfortably as he tired to push Ross away.

Ross let go of Joey, and cleared his throat. "Yeah, erm, I'm just gonna get some pizza."

"Right then," Joey gave him a thumbs up sign.

"So, Monica!" Judy announced, reverting attention back over to the Geller's who were standing by the windows.

"Yea," Monica mumbled, waiting to hear about one of her friend's daughter's accomplishments and how proud her friend was of her daughter.

"How about we go out to dinner tomorrow night, our treat!"

Monica shrugged, "Sure, I don't see why not."

"And you should bring everyone!" Jack smiled looking around the room.

"Sorry, I can't, I'm almost triple booked."

"Triple booked?" Jack repeated, not catching the meaning behind Joey's words.

"Yeah, I've got,"

Ross ran over and clamped his hand over Joey's mouth, "He's got a date, along with a job, and a charity event to help, erm-helpless children. That Joey, a heart of gold."

Joey nodded, and pushed away Ross's hand, "Yeah, I love to give back to my community! It's just give, give, give, with me!"

"Right then, I can come," Rachel said, "What's the big occasion?"

"It's nothing, just a little dinner among," Judy paused looking for the right word, "Friends."

"Yeah, I think I can make it," Chandler nodded along, then looked at Monica a little, "That is if I'm not caught doing laundry or something."

"Man, you do laundry an awful lot lately," Phoebe stopped then suddenly understood, "Ooohhh, I get it now."

"Yea, Phoebe's right man, you have been doing a lot of laundry recently, along with Monica? What's up with that?" Ross asked, looking around the room for a answer.

"Well, well, you know, the duck's been sick a lot recently, you know, I swear she still hasn't gotten over the ring fiasco yet." Chandler lied, hoping that he didn't sound as nervous as he really was, "She just keeps puking, puking, puking, and always on my clothes!"

"Dude, a little too much information," Ross chuckled a little. He brought a slice of pizza up to his mouth, stared at it for a moment, then set it back down, "You know what, I think I'm full."

"Yeah, me too," Rachel agreed.

"I'm not, give me your slices, why waste?" Joey grabbed the remainder of Rachel's slice along with Ross's untouched slice.

"Because that's the giving thing to do, Joe," Chandler mused.

"Hey, you're the one that made them sick Mr. My Duck is puking on me! That's not very giving if you ask me."

"Yeah, I'm good," Monica walked over and handed Joey the remainder of her slice.

"Me too," Phoebe handed over her pizza box.

"You know what, Chandler, we should have thought of this sooner," Joey smiled, "Think of all the free meals we've been missing out on!"

"Yea, Joe, grossing out people is really the way to go."

"Totally man! This is like a gold mine! Except for free food!"

"That you paid for in part."

"Well actually I paid with a twenty from your pocket, so actually, it's free for me."

"Joey!"

"Wait! You only had to pay ten dollars, why did you take a twenty?" Ross asked, "And I don't think I gave you any change."

"Well the other part of it was for Monica."

"Joey!" Monica hit him across the chest, "Can't you keep a secret!"

"Well you know, I'm keeping so many secrets to myself recently, one was bound to slip out sooner or later."

"And you know what, it's okay that you took money from me. My money is your money, remember? Or at least it has been for the past five years, why start caring now?"

Joey nodded and smiled, "Alright."

* * *

_So this is the place where I promise updates will be up soon, and yet I haven't exactly come through on that promise ever, eh? School and practice are both eating up a lot of my time, so I rarely find time to work on my fics. Then when I actually get around to it, I end up working on a completely new fic idea instead of my in-progress fics! There must be some 12-step program for that or something. Either that or I really am just completely ADD and can't help it. _

_In other words: Updates will be up when I can find the time. Stupid school. I spit on you._

**_Reviews would be most awesome._**


	5. Five

_I know, I know, it's been awhile since I have updated. But if you haven't noticed by now, **I have almost no time at all**. One can only survive on only so many four hour night's before they start to act a little funny, shall we say? _

_Thanks again to everyone who reviewed. You guys are being really patient (is that even spelled right?) and that really helps a lot. I hate it when you get those reivews demanding an update, that's like a slap in the face. I know what it's like to be waiting for an author to update, but I also know what writer's block/lack of free time is like. _

_**Notes on this chapter: **You're just going to have to assume that Rachel and Phoebe told Joey that they know sometime in the moments not covered in the story. So in summary, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey know and know eachother know, Ross doesn't know but has made his feelings clear on Mondler dating (negative), and Mr. and Mrs. Geller are clueless per usual. _

* * *

The night ended surprisingly well, considering the events and the players involved. In all actuality, the night went pretty flawlessly, if you minus out the starry-eyed looks and cooing noises from Rachel and Phoebe, Joey's drinking contest with Mr. Geller, and Phoebe and Ross's debate on the topic of evolution (which ended in a reenactment from Ross himself) (Monica chose this point to try and pull out the vodka) (she was not successful).

And when everyone went to bed for that evening, Chandler found himself sitting up in his room just staring at the clock, trying to figure out how long it should take all the Geller's, minus Monica, to fall asleep like some mathematical equation.

He decided that after an hour and a half of waiting, if they weren't asleep yet, he'd just kill them and claim it was as accident. Either that or just run really fast. He pulled on his old blue robe, tying it tightly around his waist, before he made his way quietly to the door. Pushing it only open a crack, Chandler looked out, surveying the scene in front of him. Ross was out cold on the couch.

Mission one accomplished.

He pushed the door open the rest of the way, and carefully sneaked out of the apartment, making sure not to wake Ross, not that a stampede of elephants could wake him, it would just make sense that Ross would wake up just as Chandler was sneaking off to be with Monica. Casting one last look over the apartment, he made his way on his third mission, which would probably prove to be the hardest yet. Sneaking into Monica's room with her parents in the same apartment.

Things were bound to not end well if they were caught.

He rushed across the hallway, making his hurried steps as quiet as possible. Then, taking a deep breath, he creaked open the door to Monica's apartment.

Darkness.

He breathed a sigh of relief. At least he didn't have to explain why he was coming over in the dead of night in his bathrobe to a fully wake Mrs. or even Mr. Geller. Half-asleep he still had a chance, people tended to be more gullible then.

"Chandler?"

He heard a small whisper from the couch. He smiled unconsciously at her voice, "I'm here, Mon."

Monica stood up off the couch, "Hey you," she walked over to him seductively and wrapped her arms around him.

"Hey yourself," he greeted back, as he kissed her atop of her head. "How long have your parents been asleep for?"

"Right after you guys left," Monica answered, "I might have hurried them along a little," she added sheepishly. "What about Ross?"

"Do you think I'd be here if Ross was awake?"

"Shut up, haven't you learned I'm always right, girlfriend or not?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, what was I thinking," Chandler mused, "I mean, I love you."

"Nice recovery." She teased, as she leaned in closer and kissed his lips lovingly. "I missed you," she breathed out.

"You don't ever not see me, how can you miss me?"

"I miss this version I get to see of you, I like him the best."

"Oh really? You do? Maybe I should sneak off more often." He smiled as he planted an unexpected kiss on her lips.

"Monica? Is that you? Why are you up so late?" Judy's voiced called out from inside Rachel's room.

Chandler's eyes got wide as he batted Monica out of his arms.

Judy opened up the door, dressed in a rather too revealing, considering it was Mrs. Geller, purple bathrobe. "What in heavens name are you doing here, Chandler? It's nearly three in the morning!"

"Erm-I couldn't sleep."

"So you woke Monica up?"

"I was awake too!" Monica announced, "We were gonna watch some TV, right Chandler?"

"Of course, cause that's what we do when we can't sleep. Watch TV. At three in the morning. Sorry we woke you up. We really should seek medical attention for our sleeping habits. Horrible. Just horrible."

Monica jabbed him in the ribs, signaling for him to shut up. "Yes, me and Chandler were just discussing what we wanted to watch."

"Alright, just keep it down!" Judy threatened, "And Monica, I'll give the doctor a call tomorrow about an appointment, it's not healthy to be up this late regularly!"

"Right then," Monica forced a smile, "Night Mom."

"Night, Mrs. G," Chandler tired to laugh, but all that would come out was a more subdued version of his work laugh.

"Right then," Judy closed the door to Rachel's room, a more tired version of her disgusted face taking over her wrinkly features.

"So you're parents have become lighter sleepers as the years moved on!" Chandler commented amusement in his tone.

"Come on, let's sleep on the couch tonight."

"And why would we want to do that?"

"Because, my parents are probably gonna wake up early after that lovely show. At least this way we can still have a decent enough defense as friends still unlike a bedroom exit first thing in the morning."

"Whatever happened to living dangerously?"

"That went away with the no drinking establishment," she teased as she grabbed his hand and let him over to the couch.

"Trying to guilt me out of it, eh?" Chandler smiled, as he propped up a couple of pillows for their heads on the very end. "Do you think this is too obvious?" He asked, motioning to the pillows.

"We're tired, remember?" Monica filled in for him.

"Gotcha," he laid down on the couch, rolling over to the very back to make room for Monica to lay down besides him.

"Do you think they'll wonder why the TV isn't on?" She asked, as she sat down on the couch besides him.

"Because we were so tired, you fell asleep and I didn't want to wake you so I turned off the TV for the night and slept here."

"You know, we really shouldn't be this good at coming up with these lies. Some might think it was a bad thing."

"Eh, do you see any of those people here right now?"

She smiled and shook her head, "I love you," she whispered to him as she laid herself down nearly on top of him, just so that her head could rest on his chest.

"Me too," Chandler smirked, Monica whacked the back of his head. "Ouch!" He complained, "I'm sorry, I heart you too."

"Heart?"

"Thought we could change it up a little," he explained, "But maybe we like traditional things better," he kissed the top of her head, "Love ya, Mon."

"Thank you!"

* * *

"I know they're close and all, but this is getting to be too much," Ross commented watching his best friend hold his little sister in his arms while they slept. It was almost seven, and, per usual, Phoebe, Joey, Rachel, and him had shown up at the girls' apartment awaiting a breakfast either cooked or cooking. Needless to say, what he found was somewhat less amusing.

"I still think it's cute," Rachel cooed.

"Cute? You thought it was hilarious last time. How does hilarious transform into cute?!" Ross asked, his voice getting high and squeaky. "Heck! How is this even cute in the first place?"

Joey shook his head, "That's gonna cost him," he muttered to Phoebe.

"Whatda mean, 'cost me'? I haven't spent anything!"

"Ross, haven't you learned to never question a woman. If they say something that seems a bit off, you just nod your head and smile saying things like 'of course, sweetie' and so on and so forth."

"You know what, he's got you there, Ross." Phoebe agreed, nodding her head along with Joey, "You should really learn that women aren't wrong, and even if we are, we don't like to be told."

"It's a little thing called PMS," Rachel chuckled, "If it's not that time of the month, we're getting ready for the next one."

"Well, I don't see why Chandler could have just stumbled back into his own apartment," Judy commented, putting her emphasize on the word 'own'. "For God's sake, he only came in at some ungodly hour last night to watch TV of all things!"

"Why didn't he just watch it over at our place?" Ross asked, "It wouldn't have bothered me, I was out like a light last night."

"Well, him and Monica, they, they always watch TV together!" Rachel intervened, nodding her head dramatically, "Right, Pheebs?"

"Yes, Chandler and Monica always watch TV together, Ross. I can't believe you forgot about that." Phoebe said slowly, as she nudged Joey in the ribs to say something.

"What? Oh, oh, yeah, Chan and Mon, yeah, they, they, love to watch TV. It's like the best thing ever to them. Cause you know, they're both single and all. Single, single, single."

Rachel cleared her throat, signaling him to stop talking. "I thought you knew that, Ross. Well, I guess you're late night escapades with Janice might have prevented that." She winked at him slowly and over-dramatically, "Right, Ross?" She chuckled.

He looked at her strangely, "Have you all lost your minds, or am I just living in some parallel universe or something where everyone acts like," he paused looking for a word to describe their behavior, "This."

"What do you mean Ross?" Phoebe asked, forcing a small laugh. "You're the one that's acting strange." She walked over into the kitchen, and pretended to look around for something to eat. "Hey Rachel, can you help me find the bagels?"

"Pheebs, you know where the," Phoebe glared at her and jerked her head backwards, "Oh! I mean, I erm-moved the bagels last week! I can't believe I forgot to tell you!" She ran over to Phoebe's side, mouthing a 'sorry' for her late brain connection.

"What should we do about," Phoebe whispered hoarsely, "you know," she nudged her head in the general direction of the couch.

"What do you mean? Should we tell everybody?"

"No! We can't do that! That would be so mean!"

"Yeah, yeah, they made it pretty clear they wanted to keep it a secret." Rachel agreed, "You know, I don't understand how we didn't catch on sooner! I mean, come on! How obvious are they!"

"I know!" Phoebe practically yelled, "That bagels are against my low-carb diet!" She spit out, her voice mechanical almost. "You don't have to remind me, Rach!"

"So what are you thinking?"

"Maybe we should get everybody out of the apartment, you know, leave Monica and Chandler for some alone time. I'm sure they haven't gotten much of that."

Rachel nodded, "Yea, yea, you're right. We do kinda hang out here a lot, don't we?"

"Let's just take Ross's parents around the city today, y'know? Shopping and stuff."

"What about the guys? I don't think they'll go for shopping. Ross might. But not Joey, the man doesn't even wear underwear most days."

"Send them to a baseball game or something! A bar! Let them pick up chicks!"

"Ah yes, a bar open in the middle of the day, where a married man, his son who has a girlfriend, and a man with no morals to speak of can pick up chicks. That sounds like a good plan."

"Well! I'm the one coming up with all the plans here! Why don't you try coming up with something!"

"You see, Pheebs," Rachel chuckled, "That's the difference between you and me, I don't come up with plans, I just follow them through."

"Alright, let's just send them to a baseball game or something."

"You can get tickets on this sort of notice?"

"I'm sure you can. Worst comes to worst, we'll send them on a hunt for some unfindable thing. Like cheese that was made from a goat."

"Pheebs, there is such a thing as goat's milk."

"Yeah so? I said cheese! You gotta listen, Rach!"

"Oh, I don't understand how I did that," Rachel mused, the sarcasm in her words would have even impressed that of Chandler's standards.

"I know, honey, you just have to listen more, okay?"

"I'll try my best, Pheebs."

"Hey Joey! We seemed to have misplaced the bagel cutter, do you know where it is? _Did you maybe borrow it and leave it in your apartment again_?" Phoebe asked, opening her eyes wide and hoping to God that he got the message behind her words.

"Huh? What! I didn't borrow the bagel cutter!" Joey yelled, "Why would I borrow the bagel cutter?"

"I don't know, Joey, maybe you wanted a bagel and don't have your own," Rachel said slowly, "So you came and borrowed ours, and forgot it in YOUR APARTMENT."

"You know what, maybe we should all go look for it," Phoebe said, "Maybe if we go back there it will jog your memory, Joey."

"What?" Phoebe and Rachel stared at him, "Oh, oh, I mean, sure, I think I might have borrowed it, and left it in my apartment." He chuckled a little, "Sorry, must have slipped my mind, so many important things just flying around in there, y'know?"

"Here, we'll come with you and look for it!" Rachel announced, "I'm sure Phoebe really wants her bagel, right, Pheebs?"

"Oh yes, I am very hungry."

"Pheebs, I didn't know you were on a low-carb diet," Ross commented, "And if you are, you really should stick to it better."

"I know, I know, I don't have much willpower, Ross," she said with mock sadness.

"You know I went on one of those low-carb diets once," Judy mentioned, "I really think they're a waste of time, Phoebe. I would suggest Atkins if anything. The man should be given a noble prize, he's a genius."

"But don't you have to eat a lot of meat on Atkin's?" Rachel asked, or at least hinted at Mrs. Geller, who, she was pretty convinced, hadn't figured out or had forgotten Phoebe's standpoint on meat in general.

"Yes, that's the beauty of it, dear," Jack smiled, "I got to eat everything I loved, minus a couple of the breads that I loved too, but you know, what can you do?"

"Well, I don't think Atkin's," Phoebe said his name almost mockingly, "Is right for me. Thanks for the tip anyways, Mrs. Geller." She turned back around and made her way quickly out of the apartment, "Let's find that bagel cutter, cause it's sure as hell not here."

"Yes, I must have left it in my apartment!" Joey called after her, taking off in a slow jog behind her.

"Well, you know, they need me," Rachel chuckled a little, "Can't leave those two unsupervised, right, Ross?"

"Sadly, I have to agree."

"Good luck finding your bagel cutter!" Mr. Geller called after Rachel as she ran out of the apartment, completely oblivious.

"That was strange," Ross commented, then turned his attention back to his Chandler and Monica on the couch, "Although, not as strange as this."

* * *

_Please Review._


	6. Six

_Alright, here's the new chapter, sorry for the delays in it getting up, I had a lot on my plate recently. _

_Thanks for the reivews. Sorry I didn't copy down your names, but I'll get that up in the next chapter, kay?_

_Hope you enjoy my latest enstallment. _

* * *

"So what's the big deal with you two and toast!" Joey whined as they walked into his apartment.

Rachel sighed, "Ugh, Joey, we didn't want toast!"

"Speak for yourself, Rach, I'm starved!"

"Stay on topic, Pheebs!" Rachel yelled out, "Now, we need to get Mr. and Mrs. Geller, especially Mrs. Geller, and Ross out of the apartment for the day."

"And we'd better start coming up with better excuses, cause I'm really not buying any of them," Phoebe commented.

"So what's the plan? Are we just going to show them around the city?" Joey asked, actually staying on topic for once. "Ooh! Ooh! Maybe we could take them out for breakfast, and then shop around all the different stores, you know?"

"Joey, I thought you're day was booked!"

"Starting at lunch, yes, so that means by the time breakfast is over I can pretty much come back here, you know to get ready and all that jazz,"

"You just want the free food, don't you?"

"Yeah, so? I'm a man with priorities."

"Joey, you don't get ready. You would go out in your pajamas if Chandler didn't remind you to change your clothes!" Phoebe shot back at him, "You should have to suffer as much as us!"

"Eh," he nodded in agreement, "So what's one more little white fib added to the pile? I mean, once they find out about Mon and Chan, I think my lie is gonna be pretty minor, boarding non-existent in comparison. And besides, they're probably gonna be mad at you two for helpin' them so much and all. I mean I've lied, but this is pretty extensive. Dare I say, pulling the wool over their eyes?"

"Arg! Shut up!" Rachel fumed, "All right! All right! We'll buy you breakfast, and then you can leave, but by God, if I see you sitting around here at lunch time,"

Joey raised up his hands in the air, "Woo, Rach, you can expect me as good as gone, alright? I don't wanna stick around here any longer then I have to!"

"Good. Now, the matter of waking Chandler and Monica up," Rachel looked over her shoulder sneakily, spotting an empty bucket just waiting to be filled with oodles of freezing cold water. "Anyone thinking what I'm thinking?"

Joey followed her eyes, a giant grin taking over his lips once he saw what she did. "Ho, ho, ho, I do believe that we have a little bit of an evil genius on our hands, Pheebs."

Phoebe smirked, "I think they owe us at least this, I mean we're spending the day with her parents for Christ's sake!"

"So who gets to do the honors?" Rachel looked around at the three, "I mean, we won't want the terrible threesome in there, who knows what they'll say, and we'll have to censor ourselves too, which just ruins the fun of it, y'know?"

"Not it!" Joey yelled out, "I've known longest!"

"Yeah, we're gonna have to talk about that," Rachel mumbled, giving Joey a little glare.

"Not it!" Phoebe yelled out before Rachel could finish her sentence. Joey smiled and gave Phoebe a high five.

"Not-dammit!"

"Ah, may I introduce my partner in crime," he paused, "At least while we're playing pranks on Chan and Mon, cause you know Chan is my full time one, y'know?" Phoebe nodded in agreement, "Phoebe Buffay!"

"Can't we settle this like mature adults?" Rachel asked, "You know,

"Rach, what about dumping water on Mon and Chan's head is mature?" Phoebe pointed out.

"And I say that me and Joey get to do it cause we're the roommates!"

"Oh, oh, oh, don't you pull that roommate card on me! I was her roommate first!"

"Pheebs, that was like five years ago! It doesn't count anymore! They weren't dating then! And besides! You moved out on her without telling her! Ha!"

"So," Phoebe paused, waiting for a comeback to come, "You've known the Gellers longest, you should stay with them! Ha! Take that!"

"What if we just send them down for coffee, and say we'll meet them there in like five minutes?" Joey shrugged, "That way, nobody has to miss out on the fun cause either way somebody got something to trump somebody's something."

"You know what, that makes sense," Rachel pointed out to Phoebe, trying to figure out where this sudden wisdom had come from.

"Yeah, who knew?" She commented back, "Our little Joey is growing up so fast, I remember the day when he put a turkey on his head in order to scare Chandler," she paused, "He scared Monica, but she's scared to let anyone eat without a napkin."

"Joey you had your head up a dead animals ass?"

"Thanks for telling that story, Pheebs. I just love reliving those moments."

The door opened behind them, and Ross poked his head in, "Hey guys, we found the bagel cutter. It was right on the kitchen table, I can't believe you guys missed it!"

"Really? Wow, I can't believe we missed it, Pheebs," Rach said slowly as she glared at Phoebe for her mistake. "You would have thought that we would have seen it, wouldn't ya?"

Phoebe laughed uncomfortably, "Yeah, this way it makes it sound like it was a fake bagel, but I really wanted that bagel."

"Too bad we're fresh out of bagels, huh, guys?" Joey hung his head in feigned disappointment as he pushed the small package of bagels off the counter behind him, "Hey! I got an idea! Let's go out for breakfast with your parents, Ross!"

"Yes! That sounds like a great idea, Joey!" Rachel practically shouted, "Hey Ross, how about you and your parents go down and get some coffee, y'know give ya a little bit of time alone with your parents to talk and we'll just say we're calling in late for work or something!"

Ross opened the door completely, and nodded along. "Yeah, yeah, you know that sounds like a really good idea. I really haven't gotten much of a chance to talk with my parents, y'know, one on one yet. You guys would really do that?"

"Sure Ross!" Phoebe laughed, "What kind of friends do you take us for?"

"Hey, should we wake up Monica and Chandler, they might wanna come too," Ross pointed out, "And, between us, I think my parents are starting to get really creeped out, my dad's getting that look in his eye when he wants to," he made the motion of ringing someone's neck, "Y'know?" He chuckled, "That Chandler's a dead man when he wakes up!"

"Ah, ha, ha, ha, he's just a dead man walkin' isn't he!" Joey forced a laugh.

"Ross, why don't you go now, so that we can get a good table?" Phoebe asked, "We'll wake Chan and Mon up and see if they wanna come, but I don't think they can, I remember Mon saying something about work and Chandler's got some sort of presentation or whatever he does."

"Thanks again guys, I'll go tell my parents the plan! This is so great!"

"Uh-huh, Ross," Rachel mumbled out, "We'll be down there in like fifteen or twenty minutes. That should give you enough time."

"Thanks again guys! I owe you!" He smiled happily as he ran back across the hall.

"God he's clueless," Rachel commented, then she turned to Phoebe and asked, "Why did I date him, again?"

Joey thought about it for a second, "Cause you were hopelessly in love with him," he mumbled out.

Rachel glared at him, picked up the empty bucket and whacked his arm with it. "Go fill this up," she barked out.

"Yes m'am!"

"What about Chandler? He's so dead if they find out!" Phoebe pointed out, "I mean not only Ross, but the father! And they're still going at it!? That's like suicide!"

"I know!" Rachel cried out, "And they are really bad at this whole not getting caught thing? I mean this is like three or four times, in like two days! Not even!"

"How did we not catch on sooner."

"Hey, Pheebs, that work story was a nice cover," Rachel congratulated her, giving her a thumbs up sign in approval.

"Here's the water," Joey held up the filled bucket, "You guys go catch to make sure the Geller's are gone, and that Monica has towels."

"Why towels?"

"We're about to drench her couch and her in water, Monica will freak if it can't be dried off right away," Rachel agreed, "Good thought, Joe."

"I'll go and catch for the Gellers," Phoebe said as she slipped out the door and across the hall.

Joey gave a stern nod, "Always thinkin'!"

"I'm sure you are," Rachel smiled.

Phoebe ran back into the apartment, "The Gellers have left the building! Are all systems go, Tribbiani?"

"Water accounted for, m'am!"

"And Green! How 'bout those towels?"

"I'll grab them when I get in there, Pheebs, pinky swear."

"Alright! Let's go get us some revenge!" Phoebe smirked as she opened the door silently and crept across the hall, Rachel and Joey in tow holding the bucket of water. She held up her finger to her mouth, as she turned the door handle to the girl's apartment, and pushed it open with barely a creek.

They crept inside, Rachel separating for a moment to go and grab the spare towels from the bathroom cabinet, then rejoined Phoebe and Joey at the back of the couch.

"Ready?" Joey whispered, Phoebe nodded and helped him lift up the bucket of water above Monica and Chandler's heads.

"One," Rachel breathed out, "Two, three!"

"SHIT!" Chandler yelled, jerking up as the freezing cold water slashed against his skin.

"AH!" Monica jumped up with Chandler, and fell off of the couch entirely from the surprise.

Chandler whacked his head against the bucket that Joey and Phoebe held over his head, both of them finding that highly amusing. "OW! DAMMIT!" He yelled at both of them, as he rubbed his head in pain.

"Ow," Monica stood back up, rubbing her butt after the pain of her crash landing with the floor. "What the hell was that for?"

"Looks like somebody overslept their beauty sleep," Phoebe smirked.

"Paybacks a bitch," Joey explained with a smirk.

"Give me that towel," Monica said bitterly, grabbing one of the towels from Rachel's hands, and began to dry herself off. Then her eyes bulged, "OH MY GOD! What time is it!?"

"Almost eight-thirty," Rachel told her, "They saw, but I don't think they caught on. At least Ross didn't, he was just bothered by it, but he bought the whole TV watching thing."

"Where are they now?" Chandler wrapped his arms around Monica, who was still worrying about whether or not her family had caught on yet.

"Down getting coffee," Phoebe told them, "Don't worry, they think that we're letting you guys sleep. In fact, that we're leaving you guys here and going out for breakfast and then we're going to conveniently take them shopping."

Monica's lips slowly formed into a smile, "Are you guys serious?"

"Well you apparently can't be away from each other for more then a couple of hours, so we figured we'd give you the day to do," Rachel paused, "Whatever," she said uncomfortably, "So that maybe you'll be able to go a little longer, huh?"

"Yeah, we've been pretty sloppy lately," Monica admitted sheepishly, "I'd hate for them all to find out that way, I mean just look at how you two took it! Imagine Ross in your position!"

"I am so dead!"

"I know, dude! Who is gonna be my roommate?"

"Don't you mean who's gonna take care of you?"

"No," Joey said sadly, "You're my best friend, who happens to cover me a lot, but still! I'm gonna miss you! Not you giving me money."

Chandler smiled, "Aw, Joe, that was sweet."

"Well considering the fact that we're talking about you being dead, that might not be so sweet once you think about it," Rachel pointed out.

"Either way," Monica interrupted, "Thank you for braving the day with my parents, guys, we owe you a lot."

Rachel smiled, "What are roommates for besides lying for each other and helping each other sneak around with their secret boyfriends?"

"We gotta go, Rach, we said we'd be there in about fifteen minutes," Phoebe reminded her, pointing to her watch, "And it's been almost twenty."

Rachel nodded, "You guys owe us!"

"You have fun, you two!" Joey smiled, punching Chandler playfully in his arm "I'll stay out of the apartment all day, Mon, no worries!"

"Thanks, Joe," Chandler deadpanned.

"Whatever dude, you just go get laid!"

"Bye, Joe!"

"Remember the condom, dude!" Joey shouted as Rachel and Phoebe pushed him out the door.

"We'll see you two crazy kids later," Rachel smiled as she shut the door.

Monica turned to Chandler, a playful smile on her lips, "Let's play sick today," she whispered, snaking her arms around his waist.

Chandler kissed the top of her head, "I love you, you know that right?"

"I think I've heard it before, maybe," she brushed her lips against his cheek, then he pulled back and grabbed his hands inside of hers. She pulled him through the living room, and towards her own bedroom, smiling seductively.

Chandler smiled, "I love you," he repeated softly.

She opened the door to her bedroom, leaving the lights off, and they both slipped inside. She opened her mouth to say something back, but lips found hers first. In between the furry of passionate kisses, she finally whispered out, "I love you too."

* * *

"So Monica and Chandler seem rather close," Judy commented, "I thought he was _your_ best friend." She took a sip of her coffee, paused for a moment, as if to judge it's flavor, then set the cup back down.

"Well, yea, he is one of my closest friends, I guess you could call him my best friend if you wanted too, I donno," Ross mumbled out, the conversation hadn't really gone as he would have hoped. All his parents wanted to talk about was Monica and her quote disgraceful behavior recently.

"Does she do that a lot? Sleep with that _boy_," Jack grumbled, ready to pounce on Chandler if he happened to walk into the coffeehouse at the very moment.

"Umm, not really. I mean, there was that one time when she broke up with Kip, but Phoebe was there too, so I don't think that counts."

"Well I don't approve. I think it's distasteful. Very distasteful."

"Distasteful, I thought it was disgraceful," Ross mumbled out quietly.

"What was that, dear?"

"Nothing," Ross chirped, "Just wondering what could be taking them all so long, y'know, calling in late and all."

"Oh, we're talking too much about Monica, aren't we?" Judy put her arm around Ross's shoulders, "We're sorry, sweetie. We didn't mean too. This is your time to catch up with us, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah, that was kinda the idea."

"We'll just have to deal with Monica later, alright, sweetie? We're here, one hundred percent, I promise!"

Jack tapped his wife on the shoulder, and pointed out the window at a couple just outside of the coffeehouse. "Judy! Isn't that disgraceful! Those two are making out right on the public street corner in broad daylight!"

"I can't believe young people today," Judy muttered.

Ross rolled his eyes, and fell back against the couch. "Yeah, young people today," he mumbled out in agreement, "How insensitive."

"Hey you guys! Are you ready to go get some breakfast!" Rachel called with a friendly smile, "Come on! Joey and Pheebs are waiting outside!" She waved them over to her, and held open the door for them.

"Yep! We gotta go!" Ross jumped off the couch, and ran towards Rachel.

"I'm so glad we had that little chat, Ross!" Judy cooed, "We should do this more often," she commented, as she placed on her coat and then walked slowly over to Rachel and Ross by the door.

"Yea, we should do that more often," Ross repeated dryly.

"Oh my gosh! That was your friends kissing!" Jack exclaimed, getting a better look at the now infamous making out couple.

"Oh, Joey and Pheebs? Yeah, something about Joey and his date or whatever, Pheebs was helping him out with something." Rachel said like it was the most normal thing in the world, "So where do you guys want to go for breakfast?"

"Where's Monica and Chandler?" Judy said Chandler's name like it was poison, and Rachel visibly cringed at that.

"Ah, they both had work things today, couldn't make it. Something about a presentation and a big day or whatever."

"Yeah, Mon's usually pretty busy at the restaurant lately," Ross added, "I think it's starting to gain in popularity."

"Oh well!" Rachel changed the subject, "Let's get going! I'm starving!"

"Didn't you have a bagel?"

"No, that was Phoebe."

"Then why is she coming?"

"Whoo, that girl can eat, I swear. Like an elephant that one." Rachel laughed out uncomfortably, "Well! Let's get going before she eats Joey!"

"Rach, are you feeling alright?" Ross asked, "You're not making any sense."

"What da mean, Ross? I'm making perfect sense, you're the one that's acting strange today."

Ross just shook his head, "Alright," he mumbled, not convinced. "We better get going," he agreed, and they walked out of the coffeehouse together.

* * *

_**Please Review.**_


	7. Seven

_Sorry updates have been comming so slow, but apart from being unmotivated, I've been a litte stuck. _

_I have made my feelings clear about this fic and others, but I promise each of them will be finished in due time. You just gotta be patient with my antics. There is some sanity beind them, I promise._

_Thanks for the reivews. And for posting this fic and other ones of mine on some of the new C2 listings. It's quite flattering._

* * *

Monica leaned her head on top of Chandler's shoulder, looking as though she had gotten a hanger stuck in her mouth. Chandler kissed the top of her head lightly,

"Love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," she smiled back, "I'm sorry that I had to be born a Geller. I mean, hanging out with my parents must be one nightmarish experience."

"Well my parents aren't exactly a walk in the park either, remember?" He chuckled a little at his own pathetic family, "Your family's like the Cleaver's compared to mine!"

"Oh come on, we are so not the Cleavers!"

"Well Ross would make a good Beaver, don't you think?"

Monica laughed a little, "And you're supposed to be his best friend!"

"You laughed."

"I'm allowed too, I'm his sister!"

He smiled, and kissed her cheek lightly, "You're so great," he whispered, "I love that."

"I know," she mused happily.

He sat up, and looked down at her warmly, and ran his hand down across her cheek, "No, I mean it. I love you, I love you." He smiled faintly, watching her facial expression brighten with each of his words, "I always thought that'd be scarier to say."

"Funny how some things work out, huh?"

"I'm so glad Ross rushed things and got married in a romantic foreign country where people around us were drunk most the time and saying stupid things."

Monica smiled, "That was a disaster that worked, eh?"

"You betcha."

"So, what are we gonna do today? You know, besides all the sex?"

"Wow, you know, I wasn't sure about putting out, but when you say it like that," he teased.

Monica just rolled her eyes, "We can take out that part if your not in the mood," she threatened.

"No worries here," he smiled, "So, how bout a picnic. In the park. We could hang there for a couple of hours, then maybe drop by my office so I can show you off some more, then drop by your work so you can show me off,"

"I'm sure."

"Why? Don't you think I'm foxy?"

Monica laughed, "Of course, sweetie, all the girls want you! You're part bunny!"

Chandler smiled, "God, I'd forgotten about that."

"That was a good night. I thought we were almost busted, too."

"We've almost been busted a lot. Think about when we first got back and I kept kissing you."

"You think you could have showed a little more self-restraint, you know."

"Hey! You kissed back!"

"No fair, when somebody kisses you, unless it's some crazy homeless guy, or that girl from the Hole's book, you generally kiss back! Especially when it's your secret boyfriend!"

"You read Holes? Isn't that a kid's book."

Monica frowned slightly, "I was looking at books for Ben. And I happened to read Holes in the process. I wasn't sure if it was appropriate or not."

"I'm sure," he teased, "All for your nephew."

"It was!"

Chandler smiled, he leaned down slowly, and brushed the top of her forehead with his lips lovingly. "I love you and all your little quirks."

"Right back at ya," she smiled, "Hey, do you want a back massage?"

Chandler smiled, "I'd love one. I do you, you do me?"

Monica raised her eyebrows suggestively. "I thought that's what we just did."

Chandler just shook his head, "You know what I meant! Get your mind out of the gutter!"

"Yes sir," she smiled, as she turned herself over to allow him access to her full back. "You want a timer?"

"We can just use the alarm clock, I don't wanna move."

She nodded, and reached over to set her clock, "Fifteen minutes?"

"Sounds good."

* * *

"So, Joey, how is the acting career coming along? I hear you play Doctor Drake Ramorary on Days of Our Lives!" Jack congratulated Joey, giving him a huge pat on the back.

"Erm-played Doctor Drake Ramorary, played," he corrected, "They ah, kinda pushed me down an elevator shaft after I insulted the writers a little, yeah."

Phoebe gave him a sympathetic nod, "You went out with a bang."

"And a blood curdling scream," Rachel added raising her glass of orange juice.

"So, what's new with you guys?" Ross asked, "I mean, this whole time we've been talking about us, so y'know, it's always interesting to hear about you two!"

"Well, there's really nothing to say, Ross."

"Yes, me and your mother don't have the funds to do much any more, after the whole wedding in London. You know, European weddings are expensive."

"You don't say," Ross took a large gulp of his water.

"Well, I thought it was a very beautiful wedding," Rachel defended him, "Even if the marriage crashed and burned, it was still beautiful."

"Yeah," Joey laughed, "Up until the point he said your name! Then everything went to hell."

Ross glared at both of them, "Thanks for the support guys."

"Well it's true. I mean, what's so hard about saying a name right? Look! I'll do it now! I take thee Emily! Watch, I'll do it again, I take thee Emily! Emily! Emily!"

Phoebe started coughing, and making slashing motions.

"What?"

Rachel gave him a look, "You know Ross, any one of us could have done that."

"Oh, it that one of those times you were talking about where I should just stop talking?" Joey asked Phoebe, who just nodded.

"So, what's been going on in Long Island?" Rachel quickly changed the subject back over to the Gellers, "Any new and interesting gossip we should know about?"

"No, nothing terribly interesting, Rachel," Judy sighed, "Things just aren't as interesting since all the kids on the block grew up and moved away. They took all the good stuff with 'em."

"Ooh, yeah, I remember the good ol' days when we'd used to talk about how we heard Nancy Branson was pregnant with that new guy's baby! That rumor was around for a couple of years," Rachel paused and thought about what she said, "You know, you would think we'd catch on that she wasn't pregnant."

"No, no, after the first three months, we decided she must have had an abortion, and then later joined that cult that Mrs. Silver down the street was running. You know, the one for unwed mothers."

"Oh yeah!"

"Is this how you spent your time while I was growing up, mom?"

"No, of course not Ross! I was busy raising you and Monica! This," she pointed between herself and Rachel, "Started when you were in high school and didn't really need my expert guidance anymore."

Rachel began choking on her drink.

"Are you alright, dear?" Judy asked, concern in her tone.

Rachel nodded quickly, "Yes," she made out through her coughs, "Just went down the," she started hacking again, "Wrong pipe," more hacks, "Y'know?"

"If your sure."

"Positive."

Phoebe jerked her head down, and looked at her wrist, "Oh! Would you look at that! I have to get going, I forgot about my massage client!"

"What?" Rachel shirked out. She cleared her throat a little, "I mean, what massage client, Pheebs. I thought you said you were free today?"

"Oh, well, I can't miss this client. He's my most important client. If I don't go to his appointment, I'll be fired."

"You know what, I should be going too," Joey blurted out, "I've got that date and I really should get ready. I promised her I'd be there early so she can introduce me to her extended family. And the three starving, motherless triplets she took in last year. Out of the goodness of her heart, you know? She's so sweet like that."

Phoebe coughed quietly, to signal him to stop talking again. "So, you know, we're just gonna head out then, wanna catch a cab with me, Joe?"

"Sure thing, Pheebs. Sorry again, but I really gotta go."

"It was great hanging out with you two, keep in touch!" Phoebe shouted as the pair made a dash for the door.

Rachel slumped down in her chair. "So that's why they sent me into the coffee house alone. They were planning that. Dammit," she mumbled under her breath.

"What was that, Rach?" Ross asked.

"Oh, ah, nothing. Just talking to myself, y'know, things I gotta remember to do later."

Ross nodded, "Uh-huh. Sure thing."

* * *

**_Updates up when I get around to doing them.  
Please review. _**


	8. Eight

_Yeah, still comming. Slowly but surely. My opinions have not changed on his fic, but I don't want to be one of those people with fifty-billion unfinished fics just laying around._

_So here you go. Thanks for the reviews._

* * *

"I can't believe we're actually having a picnic in the park. I haven't done this in years." Monica smiled happily.

Chandler smiled back at her, as she pulled her body in between his legs, so that she could rest her head on his chest. "We should do this more often," he agreed, "Maybe we can pay them to take your parents away more."

"Hmm, an interesting concept. I do believe we should start a charity just for that very purpose."

"This is quite the charitable case, isn't it?" He chuckled softly, "But it's not that bad, right? I mean, it's just for the weekend, right?"

"Have you never met my parents?"

"But still, I mean, we're gonna have to spend time with them more eventually, I mean it's not like we can hide from them forever."

Monica felt her lips slide into an even bigger smile, "You see us being together forever? You think about that stuff?" Monica cooed happily, "I love you."

He shrugged, "Well, you know, it's not like that," he mumbled out, realizing his mistake. Monica just gave him a playful glare, "Just don't spread it around."

"How bout that Miami Vice Soundtrack? Or the Flock of Seagulls haircut? Ooh, ooh, how about the Annie Soundtrack!"

"Chopping off my toe, betting apartments in a stupid game, taking back the apartment illegitimately, after all you are the rule girl, or shall I bring up your nickname as a field hockey goalie in high school?"

"So, we have a lot of dirt on each other," Monica mumbled, "Janice!" She shouted out randomly, "Ha! Nothing beats Janice! It's like the right bower!"

"Dating your father's best friend, who was twice your age, followed up by a sort tryst with his son. I mean, hello Greek tragedy, my name is Monica, pleased to meet you!"

"Locking yourself in a box to win back your best friend after kissing one of his girlfriends."

"Doing your brother's best friend before his wedding."

"Hey, you were a willing participate in that! That totally doesn't count!"

"Fine then, making out in your parents bathroom with your then secret mustache boyfriend."

She smiled, as she raised her hand up to trace just above his lip, "Your still jealous because you can't grow a mustache, huh, Turkey Boy."

"A Thanksgiving reference, my, my, aren't we getting personal?"

"And what about this game isn't personal?"

"Good point, obsessive compulsive."

"Glad you see it my way, commitment phob."

Chandler smiled and shook his head, "We are by far the most dysfunctional couple today, wouldn't you say? I mean, take all the other couples making eyes and kissy noises at each other, and here we are bringing up each other's stupid mistakes in some twisted type of competition."

"I bet we can out romance that couple over there," she pointed to an adjacent couple a few yards away, "They look all talk and no action, wouldn't you say? I mean, they're totally over there going all Seinfeld on us, 'smoopee, no you're smoopee'!"

Chandler smiled, "They're totally going down," he hunched his body over, once again capturing her lips in his own in a fiery kiss.

* * *

"So, Monica and Chandler, huh?" Phoebe commented, "You know, when I think about it, it makes total sense. I wonder why we didn't see it before?" They both sat in Joey's apartment, facing across from each other in Joey and Chandler's chairs, both sipping beers absent mindedly as Joey snacked on a bag of potato chips.

Joey just shrugged, "I donno, maybe it's because they weren't supposed to see it until now."

"What you do mean?"

"Well, you know, what if they weren't ready for this until now, I mean, let's face it, they both need a lot of work," Phoebe nodded along in agreement, "But, for all of that, I think that maybe they just had to do their own thing for awhile until they were ready to start seeing each other."

"Wow."

"What?"

"Joey, that was deep."

He smiled, "Nah!"

"Ah, huh!"

"No."

"Totally deep."

"Really?"

Phoebe nodded, "So, do you ever feel left out?"

"Whatda mean?"

"Well, Ross and Rachel have their whole 'we were on a break, we weren't on a break thing' going on for them, and Mon and Chan have their whole little secret relationship thing going on, although it's not so secret anymore. I still can't believe they kept it from us for so long."

"No kidding! You don't know how hard it was to keep that all in! You didn't have to keep their secret and have to look like a complete idiot all the time! I mean, I am not a sex addict!"

"Oh yeah! I'd forgotten about that!"

"I mean, I wanted to tell you guys for so long, but they made me promise not to tell! And Monica wouldn't even do it with me!"

"What?"

"Well, her and Chandler didn't have such a hard time lying to all of you guys, I mean they got to do it like every night, but me! I didn't get anything out of the deal!"

Phoebe nodded along, "I know! Nobody appreciates us."

"We should have a boycott or something."

"Right on!"

* * *

"So," Ross looked down at his watch, "I've got a lecture at noon," he tried to sound as casual and indifferent as possible. It was sometimes best for deniability later if he planted an idea in his parents head and made them think they came up with it.

"Oh? At the college right?" Judy smiled, "To think, my son, the college professor." She smiled dreamily, "You've made us so proud, Ross."

"Yes, you've done quite well for yourself. I mean you had a nice job and all going for you at the museum, but you said that wasn't good enough and moved on to bigger and better things."

Rachel smirked, "Yep, that's Ross, he's just moving on. Totally voluntarily. All about moving up and out, better things out there, and all that jazz. Right, Ross? You _totally_ wanted this."

"Ooh, Rach," he forced an uncomfortable laugh, "You can be so silly some times."

"Ah-huh, silly," she said casually as they walked passed a sandwich shop, "Hey, I've never been there before. Do you guys think they sell any turkey sandwiches, y'know, like the ones made up from leftover Thanksgiving food." She smirked as she noticed Ross getting more and more uncomfortable, "Maybe with a Moist Maker."

"Oh, like the one's Monica makes all the time!" Jack chimed in.

"I'm sorry, Rachel, but I think you're just gonna have to wait like the rest of us for Thanksgiving to roll around again so that you can have your," she shudders, "Left over, moist maker, turkey sandwich."

"Ah, shoot," she feigned disappointment, "You know last time I didn't get one. And somebody ate Ross's. I mean, I don't know how you kept your cool Ross."

"You know what," Ross squeaked, "Chandler's at work, right? I think I'll stop over there real quick and pick him up for my lecture. He never does anything anyways. So you guys just head back to the apartment and spend some quality time with Rachel. You haven't done that in awhile, right? I mean, Rach, think of all the gossip you can check up on!"

Rachel glared at him, "Oh, you know what, why don't I get Chandler. I mean, you want to spend time with your parents, right?"

"Nonsense, Rachel! We haven't had any real bonding time in years! I was beginning to think of you like the daughter I never had."

"What about," Rachel began, but was cut off by Ross's awkward coughing.

"So, yeah, I'll just scoot on down to Chandler's office, meet you guys back at the apartment in like a hour? Hour and a half? You know how that guy talk can get," he chuckled, "Have fun you guys!" He waved as he took off in the opposite direction of his parents and Rachel before she could protest.

Rachel just banged her fists together, just especially for Ross.

Judy leaned into Jack, "What does that mean, anyways?" She whispered hoarsely. Jack just shrugged, and continued down the street.

* * *

Monica and Chandler ran into his office without so much as a hello to his secretary and slammed the door, both erupting in uncontrollable laughter.

"I can't believe we just did that," Monica made out in between giggles, "I mean, did you see the look on that other couples face! We totally beat them!"

"Yeah, so suckers didn't have a chance."

"And neither did that cop," Monica commented, "We totally kicked ass today!"

"Yes, beating an unwitting couple in a make-out contest and running away from one of those overweight park cops because of it is always a romantic way to spend a morning."

Monica smiled, "I love you, you know that right?"

"Really? Cause I thought that feeling you up in public just meant that you kinda liked me."

Her smile grew, "Oh shut up," she leaned in, and their lips met in another tender kiss. "How sound proof is that door?" She asked softly.

Chandler raised his eyebrows, "In my office? In the middle of the day? That's crazy!"

"It's kinda like the balcony. Just with less people around."

He smiled, "You're the best," he whispered as he grabbed her, wrapping his arms tightly around her small frame, and catching her lips in another set of passionate kisses.

* * *

"Hey," Ross greeted Chandler's secretary with a smile, "Is Chandler in, or have I missed him?" He discovered it was always better to phrase it as, 'missed him' instead of 'or has Chandler just not shown up for work or is just MIA for several hours'.

"He just arrived, but I wouldn't go in there if I was you."

"What? It's Chandler, he won't care."

She shook her head, "No, Mr. Bing and his girlfriend just went in there a couple of minutes ago, and I don't think it would be smart to disrupt them."

"Chandler and his girlfriend," Ross said slowly, making sure he heard the lady right. She was kinda elderly, maybe she just misspoke or something.

"Yea, umm, Monica, I believe. I met her at the office party last week. She's a doll, really, much better then that other hooligan he brought with him last time. His roommate or whatever."

"Monica," Ross repeated, "As in Monica Geller?"

"Yes, that was her name! Monica Geller! Haven't you met her? The pretty little thing with brunette hair," she described.

"Yea, yea, I've met her," Ross made out slowly, trying to hold back his anger.

"Oh, I'm sorry, do you want me to leave him a message for you?"

Ross shook his head, "Nah, I think he'll be occupied for a little while."

"How about a name then, I'll tell him you stopped by."

"No, no," Ross shook his head, "That's alright. I'll see him later. Just wanted to see if he was free for lunch, but I really should be getting back. You know, to work."

"Yes, yes, of course. Bye then."

Ross nodded faintly, then began his numb walk down the long hallway, plotting the perfect way for him to kill Chandler and get away with it.


End file.
